Barber Babble

No Rest For The Weary

2012-02-02T20:07:00.006-05:00

Last night, I posted that having a newborn made me so tired that the only reason I was up past 9 was because I had to pay bills. It is certainly a good thing I didn't post that in an effort to get any sympathy. I heard from not one, but two, grandmothers today that I need to get more pictures posted on the blog immediately. So, without further adieu...or rest...here are enough pictures to keep you busy...

Sleeping angel...

Either about to give me the bird or trying to hold in his pacifier at all costs...

Getting better with the pacifier...

Taking a look around...

Snoooozing...

Tiny little piggies...

Resting up on mom...

Clearly annoyed with all the pictures...

New Schedule

2012-02-01T21:02:00.000-05:00

Well, it is roughly 9 p.m...Three weeks ago, this would have meant it was time to surf the Internet, post on the blog, and begin relaxing a bit. However, since the arrival of Everett, I am literally only awake right now because I had to stay up and pay bills.

While I'd like to write a smart, enlightening blog post for you tonight. I actually feel like that story told you more about having a newborn than I ever could.

Thank You Very Little

2012-01-31T21:01:00.003-05:00

Without going into any great detail, I would like to give a special thanks to a doctor we recently used. The mistake you made cost us an extra trip to the hospital, which cost us an extra $2,000 (I got the bill today...hence, this rant). If my lawn guy had spilled gasoline all over my lawn and then charged me for the sod to replace the dead grass, I'd fire him. But, you're a doctor so you get special rules. I would probably feel much better about it if you had shown any concern or even offered up the weakest of apologies. Hell, I would have been happy if it would have crossed your mind to check back in on your mistake to see if it had any ramifications. Instead, you essentially gave us an "oh well, it happens" and went on your merry way. I'm sure you've done many great things in your career and are in most ways a great doctor...but, in this instance, you suck and I really just want to fill your undoubtedly luxury vehicle with Everett's dirty diapers.

Roles

2012-01-30T20:14:00.002-05:00

It has been mentioned to me on more than one occasion that I talk about poop too often on this blog. Well, guess what....this is a blog about a 2 year-old and a 10 day-old...hot button political issues don't come up as often as you'd think during my chats with them. Having said that, here is another post about poop.

On several nights since Everett was born, he has had a hard time doing his business. One trick we have found to be successful is to have me bend my knees and let him lean back on them while King Everett perches upon his royal throne. I patiently wait there until we hear the fruitful sound of him filling his diaper...which, by the way, sounds like somebody sitting on a Whoopee cushion that has been partially submerged in water. Afterwards, he is the happiest little guy around while I am left to contemplate the depths of my new role. I knew I'd have to assume many responsibilities as a father - teacher, chauffeur, protector, wrestler, chef. However, if you had asked me to name all the things I'd do for the happiness of my children, I'd have gotten pretty far down the list before I came to "pose as a human toilet".

Ahhhhh, Life.

2012-01-29T19:55:00.002-05:00

You know your life is not as it was a few short years ago when you see your near 3 year-old standing inside the fridge hanging onto the produce drawer and when you question her actions she replies...

"I'm trying to make a poop. Close the refrigerator!"

Chatting

2012-01-28T22:57:00.002-05:00

Meggan: Please stop playing and eat your dinner.
Amelia: (begins singing some song about her food)
Meggan: We don't sing at the dinner table.
Amelia: I didn't eat and drink and sing. I just singing. That doesn't mean anything. Chill out.

-----------------------

Me: Do you want to say your prayers before going to sleep?
Amelia: Why?
Me: Because it is good to talk to God and thank him
Amelia: God is a robot.
Me: God is a robot? I think you're a little confused.
Amelia: I don't like robots.
Me: I'm sure not all robots are bad. And we should still thank God for everything.
Amelia: Why?
Me: Because God made the trees and the clouds and the oceans
Amelia: and the Ipad
Me: Uhh, sure...and the Ipad.

First Real Meeting

2012-01-28T09:17:00.002-05:00

Open only one eye? Pirates do that! At least according to Amelia upon her first real meeting with Everett (She only saw him for about 5 minutes when he was first born).

7 Days

2012-01-26T21:36:00.002-05:00

It is almost unimaginable to me that it has been a week since Everett was born. I'm sure the warp speed is partially due to the fact that time flies when working, heading back to the hospital, and trying to make sure your 2 year-old doesn't kill your newborn. I'm thinking the rest is due to two things - you lose track of your time when you are spending it with this new little creature you are so enamored with and you also lose track of time when said little creature keeps you up at night making you so tired that you have serious debates with yourself as to whether it is Tuesday or Wednesday...on Thursday. Regardless of why it has seemed so fast, I have enjoyed every second of it and cannot wait for the next week, next year, next decade...

Corrupt

2012-01-26T21:28:00.003-05:00

Who has corrupted my 2 year-old daughter into thinking she is old enough to wear clear, plastic glasses for the sake of pretend style alone? I have an idea...and I think this person answers to the code name "Grandma"

Hidden Gem

2012-01-25T21:32:00.002-05:00

The unsung victory of having a baby brother....getting opportunities to do fun things with the people who come to visit him...like Grandpa

Undeceptable

2012-01-25T21:20:00.002-05:00

Amelia teaches me new words on a daily basis. Just tonight, I learned the word "Undeceptable"...

Me: Here we go. Let's brush our teeth.
Amelia: Nooo. I don't like that toothpaste!
Me: Well, your other toothpaste is for babies. This is for big girls who are 3.
Amelia: I not 3 yet.
Me: No, but you're almost 3. Now open up.
Amelia: That is undeceptable!

I can only assume it means the same thing as unacceptable...which I hate to tell her...is a totally unacceptable way to speak to her father.

Delay

2012-01-24T21:45:00.003-05:00

John Mayer sings a lyric about his brother that says "Thinking bout my brother Ben, I miss him every day, He looks just like his brother John, But on an 18 month delay."

Well, after comparing baby photos last night (Amelia on left, Everett on right), I'm pretty sure Amelia can talk about her brother Everett, who looks just like her ...on a 35 month delay...

Let's just hope Meggan doesn't put him in pig tails when he gets older.

Pics

2012-01-23T22:02:00.003-05:00

Posts

2012-01-23T19:33:00.003-05:00

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. Apparently, having a baby puts a real time crunch on a guy. Additionally, having said baby refuse to potty in any way, forcing you to stay in the hospital an extra day, REAAALLLY makes finding time hard. Lastly, apparently when a doctor screws up an epidural and it forces you to go back to the hospital to get it corrected, it REALLLLY REALLLLLY eats into blogging time. So, in this catch-22 where I have a ton of new material and no time to post it, I just ask you to be patient. Soon, we'll have pictures, Amelia and Everett stories, Sophie and Everett conversations, and more.

Thanks, Jenn

2012-01-23T19:06:00.003-05:00

A very talented and very thoughtful friend of ours offered up some sage advice on her blog to Amelia as she readies for her role as a big sister. You should go check it out.

Very Lucky

2012-01-19T21:13:00.003-05:00

Mr. Everett decided to join us just before noon today. I could go on and on about the experience, but frankly, I'm just too tired to do so. Thus, I leave you with a picture of Amelia meeting her baby brother and a video of her doing her best to sing him a lullaby so he could sleep.

Everett Eve

2012-01-18T23:35:00.002-05:00

With a little luck...and by luck I mean "not too many women go into active labor overnight"...we are scheduled to meet Everett tomorrow. I am equal parts excited and ~~about to crap my pants~~ apprehensive. I just pray that everything goes well tomorrow for mom and baby. I'll update the blog as appropriate. Wish us luck!

The Bad with the Good

2012-01-17T23:01:00.002-05:00

This particular post isn't directed at any individual, but to an idea in and of itself. Since I have children, and particularly since I blog about said child(ren), I find it an incredible double standard for people to freely express their dislike and disinterest with parents who always talk about their children. I always see things such as "we get it, you have kids, you love your kids, that doesn't mean we have to". Well, here's the thing about that...you don't have to love my kids, but you do have to accept the fact that they are the most important thing in my life and thus will likely be the thing I talk about the most. Here's a secret for all the non-child having people I know...we don't really care about that cute thing your coworkers did, how your workout went, or that your cat jumped into the Christmas tree. But, we listen, or we pretend to listen while still thinking about a funny story about our kids, because we care about you and as such, we want to enjoy seeing you light up when you share the things that matter most to you. All we ask is that you understand we can't continue to talk about the same things forever...as our lives change, our conversations must change with them.

Oil Spill

2012-01-16T23:19:00.003-05:00

No, the picture below is not an indication that we decided to reenact the final scene from Scarface. Actually, that is a huge pile of flour on our kitchen floor. The need to clean that off the floor would have been a bad enough start to the day. However, a much worse start is what actually occurred when Meggan accidentally knocked our griddle, including a giant cup of freshly cooked bacon grease off the island. The flour was just a failed prayer of getting the grease off the hardwoods. The bad news is our floor is slick and our house may forever smell like bacon. The good news is...Sophie thinks the floors are delicious.

33

2012-01-15T21:00:00.003-05:00

Well, I have now officially entered my final year of my early 30s (and with Everett being born so close in date, probably the last time anyone will acknowledge my birthday). While I can't say I'm depressed by that, I certainly can't say I'm enthused about it either. I'm not old...yet...but, I'm also not young. That said, ESPN and Nickelodeon were also both born in 1979 and they don't seem to be showing any signs of slowing down. So, I have that going for me.

Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

2012-01-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you look over and realize your baby is no longer a baby at all. In fact, she's a crazy little kid with a funny sense of humor.

Amelia and Meggan: Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday dear Daddy...Happy Birthday to you.
Me: Aww, thank you. That was some beautiful singing. Sophie, what, don't you love me enough to sing with them??
Amelia: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof....Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof...Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof ....Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof.

Countdown

2012-01-12T21:33:00.002-05:00

We officially received word today that they have started the turkey timer on Everett. If he doesn't come on his own in the next week, Meggan will go in and be induced. With that in mind, I've been thinking about him constantly today.

I am so excited to have a son to pair up with my daughter.
Yet, I am so afraid for Meggan and I to make the switch from zone coverage where it is 2 vs. 1 to man-to-man coverage where it is 2 vs. 2.

I am so excited to show my children I love them differently, but equally.
Yet, I am so afraid they will use this love to equally wrap me around their little fingers.

I am so excited to see how Everett and Amelia grow to interact with each other.
Yet, I am so afraid Amelia will try to drag him around, color on his face, and stuff him under the couch like she does her baby dolls.

I am so excited to experience all the differences of raising a little boy.
Yet, I am so afraid I will forget the risks while changing his diaper and he'll pee on my forehead.

I am so excited to have a son I can groom to be the next Tim Tebow.
Yet, I am so afraid he'd rather be at ballet.

I am so excited to have a snitch to tell me if Amelia's does questionable things.
Yet, I am so afraid I'll find out things no father ever wants to know.

I am so excited to no longer be the only male in the house.
Yet, I am so afraid Everett will be one of those boys who plays with frogs.

I am so excited that I have just doubled my chances of having a child that goes to Harvard.
Yet, I am so afraid that I have just doubled my chances of having a child that goes to jail.

I am so excited to teach Everett everything I know about women.
Yet, I am so afraid I won't know what to do after that 4 minute conversation.

I am so excited to teach Everett everything I know about cars.
Yet, I am so afraid he'll realize I know less about cars than I do about women.

I am so excited to see the relationship between Meggan and Everett.
Yet, I am so afraid he'll tell me to go to work so Mommy can stay home like Amelia does.

I am so excited to teach him how to tie a tie.
Yet, I am so afraid I'll embarrass him at Boy Scouts when I can't tie a knot.

I am so excited to show him that being a man is about a lot more than being "manly".
Yet, I am so afraid that not being manly makes me very uncool to a 12 year-old.

I am so excited to teach him that genuineness and the law of large numbers will get him more girls than any carefully planned pick-up line.
Yet, I am so afraid there is some other dad out there teaching his son how to pick up Amelia one day.

I am so excited to teach him the right path in life - to become a Florida Gator.
Yet, I am so afraid he'll choose the dark side, such as Florida State, just to be different.

I am so excited to teach him to be a leader.
Yet, I am so afraid he'll be the kid other parents hate because he talked their kid into stealing something.

I am so excited to teach him to stand up to bullies.
Yet, I am so afraid he'll crack Amelia in her coconut one day.

I am so excited to teach him to shoot a jump shot.
Yet, I am so afraid I won't be able to handle the day he finally beats me in one on one.

I am ao excited to teach him to shoot a jump shot.
Yet, I am so afraid I'll have the 18 year-old who never got good enough to beat his 50 year-old dad at one on one.

I am so excited to teach him to hold doors and pull out chairs.
Yet, I am so afraid those ideals will be dead by the time he is old enough to employ them.

I am so excited to have the son every man wants.
Yet, I am so afraid I'll fall short of being the father that every boy deserves.

Now That Is A Nightmare

2012-01-11T21:15:00.002-05:00

We had our second night of 3a.m. screaming. Luckily this time there were no moths in the room. As a matter of fact, Amelia was actually just having a nightmare. On the surface I would say this is better than being tortured by a moth. However, I'm not sure Amelia would agree considering the way she was screaming. Also, while I can't say for certain what she was dreaming about, all she kept screaming was "Mommy and Daddy won't buy me this at Target". So, I'm assuming that dream is going to cost me money the next time we are in the store.

On a side note, it is really creepy when your daughter opens her eyes and stares at you as if she is awake while she is still very much asleep. I just about had my own nightmares after having Little Miss Poltergeist stare through me last night.

Seeing is Believing

2012-01-10T21:16:00.002-05:00

Here is a bit of advice Meggan and I learned the hard way...if your child begins yelling "Help...Help Me...Help" in the middle of the night, don't assume they are just having a bad dream. Apparently, there is a chance that a moth is flying all around their bed tormenting them as they cower in paralyzing fear.

On a related note, here is a bit of advice Meggan and I learned the hard way...if your moth* begins flying around a two year-olds room causing her to wake her father with pleas for help, said father will track down your moth and beat it over and over and over again with a shoe. When he is done with the beating, he will accidentally glance at the clock and remember your moth has him out of bed in the middle of the night, and beat it again for good measure.

*Disclaimer - ALL moths were fatally harmed during the creation of this blog post.

Thankful

2012-01-10T21:06:00.004-05:00

A friend of mine was thoughtful enough to make Everett a baby blanket (she made Amelia hers as well). How can you not feel blessed when you are lucky enough to have people like that in your life?

Ring Around the Sophie

2012-01-09T21:38:00.004-05:00

Amelia has finally reached the point where when she realizes her attempts to get us to play with her aren't getting her anywhere, she just uses Sophie (a plan Sophie is not at all fond of). Here they are going through a rousing rendition of Ring Around the Rosie...

Maybe She Does Know

2012-01-07T20:39:00.003-05:00

Since I made a post sharing that Amelia said Jesus's mother doesn't have any eyes, I've heard from a few people that they indeed do not think Amelia has lost her mind and she actually knew exactly what she was talking about. Truth be told, shortly after I made the post Meggan and I realized what she was talking about as well. In fact, if you look back to a Naybe post from a month or so ago, you will clearly see that Jesus's mother...and father...and even Jesus himself...are severely lacking in the sight department.

Hide and Peek

2012-01-06T20:53:00.002-05:00

Amelia really, really, really loves to play Hide and Seek. However, she really has no idea how to play so it ends up like an elaborate game of peek-a-boo....

Dinner Chat

2012-01-05T21:20:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had one of those times where your kid says something and you start thinking they are so smart and have a really good understanding of things you never even knew they had heard of ...and then they say something that makes you realize they are basically just talking crazy and it just happened to coincidentally sound smart for a minute...

Meggan: Are you okay, baby?
Amelia: Yeah, I'm just thinking.
Meggan: What are you thinking about?
Amelia: Jesus
Meggan: Oh really? What are you thinking about Jesus?
Amelia: He was a baby out in the grass.
Me: Umm, yeah. He was a baby born out in a manger.
Meggan: What else?
Amelia: His mommy doesn't have any eyes. She just has round things.

Then later they say something that lets you know they may not understand everything, but they certainly do understand most things...

Meggan: Do you understand why mommy put you in timeout?
Amelia: Because I didn't keep my feet off the table.
Meggan: And what do you say?
Amelia: Sorrrrry
Meggan: Okay, please keep your feet off the table.
Amelia: You didn't want to put me in timeout?
Meggan: No, I didn't. Mommy hates putting you in timeout, but sometimes it's the only way to get your attention and get you to do what I want.
Amelia: (looks down and lets out a big sigh) Yeah, I guess you're right.

When Did Amelia Turn 8?

2012-01-04T22:11:00.002-05:00

Over the last few weeks, Amelia has really started communicating on a much higher level. A part of me loves hearing her express herself (Daddy, you don't sing lullaby very good. I want mommy to snuggle me). A part of me hates being talked to as if she is 33 and I am 3 (she literally combats everything I offer up with a reason we can't do it or it won't work). A part of me is annoyed by her copycat ways(her new trick of repeating everything you say). And a part of me is concerned that she worries about everything (I know that last one is a bit ironic, but I can't count how many times she says "Be careful, Daddy" or "we need to slow down" when we are in the car). Having said all of that, I have to admit that no matter what she says or how I feel about it, it is amazing to see her grow into her own little person.

Here is a small excerpt of her apparently deciding to order for herself on our trip to the drive through the other night:

Drive Through Speaker: Order when you're ready.

Me (to Meggan): Do you know what you want?

Amelia (loudly from the back seat): I'm probably going to have a Happy Meal please.

Meggan: Okay, we'll tell them

Amelia (loudly again to the speaker): I'll have a Happy Meal

Amelia (louder): Can I have a Happy Meal please?

Amelia (louder): He's not answering me

Amelia (loudly one last time): I'll have a Happy Meal

Amelia (flustered): He's not answering

After Meggan and I stopped cracking up, we were able to successfully complete our transaction.

You Aren't Born Humble

2012-01-03T22:34:00.003-05:00

You know that post I wrote the other day about Amelia's bathroom habits? Well, I caught a little flack for it because apparently "Amelia will be really embarrassed later in life when she reads those posts". Ummm, yeaahhh, I'm her dad. I live to embarrass her in silly ways. I consider it a vital part of my role as being a good father...a role I hope to fully continue well into her adult years. The only thing I plan on taking more seriously is making sure she is bursting with so much self-esteem that she can sit back and enjoy laughing at herself instead of worrying about what others may think.

Artist?

2012-01-02T21:02:00.003-05:00

So, I know every parent thinks their kids are basically awesome. Well, I'm no different. Amelia does things on a daily basis that make me think she is clearly the coolest kid to ever walk the planet. I think this is a very healthy mentality for a parent. The only problem is it occasionally leads to a slightly skewed perception of reality. That said, I was pretty blown away by what I am about to post. If you aren't ...keep it to yourself and let me live my dream. In other words, thank you for not peeing in my puddle.

Amelia was coloring with markers today while watching Blue's Clues. They drew Blue (a dog) on the screen and then she told us she drew a dog. She brought us the paper in the picture below. At first, it only had the blue dog's head on it. Meggan and I thought she was BSing us and had somehow grabbed some old paper that someone else had drawn on. That said, we couldn't figure out how because Meggan had just brought the paper home. So, I gave her a black marker and told her to draw another doggy head. She then drew the black dog. I probably can't sell them to any museums just yet, but for a 2 year-old , I think they are pretty damn good.

#2's a crowd

2011-12-30T20:27:00.002-05:00

We are slowly but surely making progress on the potty training front. I had hoped Amelia would be fully trained by now. Then again, I had hoped I'd grow to 6'2". You don't always get what you want. That said, as much as I am anxiously awaiting swimming in the pools of money I'll save when I can stop buying Pull Ups, this little kid on the potty thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. Allow me to paint a picture of what my life has become...

As a father, I have an obligation to do all I can to get Amelia to use the potty. The issue here is she will only use the potty if you go in the bathroom with her and stand there. My downstairs bathroom, which she uses 90% of the time, is roughly the size of a double-wide coffin. As a matter of fact, a recent guest used the bathroom and then decided to wash their hands in the kitchen instead because it was "too claustrophobic" in there. Thus, Amelia essentially demands you stand knee to knee with her while she's on the throne. Additionally, she has a fully non-negotiable clause which stipulates the door must not only be closed, but locked. She claims she needs "privacy" (seemingly completely disregarding the fact that there is another human roughly 14cms from her). Given all this, I found myself in a bad situation today. We walked into the bathroom, she sat down as I locked the door. After grabbing the handle to ensure there was no escape, she shot me a look that clearly stated "buckle up, buttercup, we're in this together now". And with that, she proceeded to relentlessly defile that poor toilet. I kid you not, there were sounds coming from that bathroom that have not been heard since the Smoke Monster on Lost. I haven't gone through boot camp or anything, but I'm pretty sure this was similar to the gas mask drills. There were fumes everywhere. My eyes were watering. My nose began to run. I weakly reached up to turn on the fan just before my knees buckled. Unfortunately, this attempt was to be completely shot down. Apparently, to go with the tight space, the locked door, and the sound display, we were not to have a fan. There would be no circulation of air. I guess we were just to sit there and drink in this experience. By the time she was done, I'm pretty sure Sophie had attempted to dial 911 on my cell phone. I'm not sure, as I had already blacked out into a puddle of cold sweat. I figured my only hope for survival was to begin repeatedly flushing the toilet while throwing Amelia into the sink to hose off. However, as I pulled myself up from the floor, I saw Amelia sitting there beaming with pride. She had use the potty like a big girl. At that point, I decided I needed to suck it up, disinfect the area, and treat her like she just cured cancer...and to pray I'm not the only one home the next time she has to go #2.

Precious Little Baby

2011-12-29T22:22:00.003-05:00

Look at the sweet sleeping angel in this picture...

...the only problem is she is not sleeping at all. She is actually on her way out the door to go to school. This actually is a cool, new thing she likes to call "carry me like a little baby" where she asks me to pick her up and then proceeds to pretend to sleep. I'm pretty sure the occurrence of this is in direct relation to the impending arrival of an actual baby in our house and Amelia's strong desire not to lose her baby status.

Won't Be Long

2011-12-28T20:54:00.002-05:00

We had our final ultrasound for Everett today. Apparently, we can expect him to look roughly like a white Shaquille O'neal. With 4 weeks to go, he is already currently measuring in at nearly 7 lbs. According to my very in-depth research (typing "average baby weight" in Google and clicking "I'm feeling lucky") the average newborn only weighs 7lbs 8ozs. So, unless he is an early arrival, it appears our little Sasquatch will be in need of adult diapers very soon.

He DID Brought Me Toys!

2011-12-27T12:07:00.003-05:00

Amelia must have been a good girl...

Bean bag or tiny pillow for her baby doll?? You be the judge...

Her favorite gift...

Strong Words

2011-12-26T22:31:00.003-05:00

Tonight as I was carrying our wine rack from one side of the dining room to another, Amelia walked in and said "Oohh, Daddy, you're too strong". I tell you, it is great having a 2 year-old around if for nothing else than an inflated ego.

Christmas Cooks

2011-12-25T22:45:00.004-05:00

Somebody has to do the cooking around here...It might as well be a pregnant woman 3-4 weeks from her due date and a 2 year-old chef...

Spoons ready...

All cooking sessions should start with laughter...

...and end with a kiss...

Christmas Morning

2011-12-25T22:33:00.002-05:00

Just follow the trail of candy canes...

What Santa left behind...

What Amelia left behind...

Enjoying her new found fun...

Enjoying the spoils of a morning hard at play...

Naybe's Final Night

2011-12-25T22:22:00.004-05:00

He didn't think Santa would mind sharing his goodies...

He decided to leave Amelia one last note...

He settled into his sleigh for his trip back to the North Pole

Getting Ready for Santa

2011-12-25T22:12:00.003-05:00

Amelia was kind enough to make cookies and chocolate milk for Santa. She also made him a handwritten note expressing her gratitude...

...and I have a feeling Santa appreciated it.

Thankful

2011-12-25T22:08:00.004-05:00

Looking over this pile of Christmas cards we were fortunate to recieve makes me incredibly thankful for the role each and every one of the senders plays in our lives. We are a lucky family.

Toes

2011-12-23T21:21:00.001-05:00

Meggan took my sister for a pedicure today for Christmas. On the way out, she mentioned that she was going to get her toes painted. This set Amelia off in a bad way because she couldn't go. Soooo, she got something even better....toenails painted by Daddy...

Naybe

2011-12-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

This is a hug of love...not meant to be as creepy as it looks...

Sad, but True

2011-12-22T22:27:00.002-05:00

Me: Great job on the potty! You're not a baby anymore.
Amelia: No, I'm a little kid.
Me: That's right.
Amelia: I'm a little kid, Daddy's a big kid, and Mommy's a grown up.
Me: Mommy probably agrees.

Shopping Buddies

2011-12-21T21:56:00.002-05:00

I have the day off work tomorrow and Amelia has decided to take the day off of school as well. We have a big day of Christmas shopping ahead of us. Once you add a stack of pancakes, a sprinkle of Dora, and a visit from my mom and sister to the shopping...you have a day to envy.

Naybe

2011-12-21T21:51:00.002-05:00

I now see how he stays so chipper all the time...

Hair

2011-12-20T21:59:00.002-05:00

Amelia: Daddy has short hair and Mommy has long hair.
Meggan: That's right.
Amelia: What kind of hair does Sophie have?
Meggan: She has fur.
Amelia: Daddy has short hair and Mommy has long hair and Sophie has fur hair.
Meggan: Uhh, yep.
Amelia: What kind of hair does Baby Brother have?
Meggan: We don't know yet. He's still in Mommy's tummy.
Amelia (lifts up Meggan's shirt and stares into her belly button): We can't see him because your belly button is closed.

Bounce Back

2011-12-20T21:45:00.003-05:00

Amelia used the incredible power of youth to turn her health around last night. She went to bed with a fever and feeling poorly and woke up as if she had never even heard of the word 'sick'. In fact, the toughest part of the day today was keeping her settled down since she felt so good. As hard as that was, it was a much better alternative than we had expected for the day.

In Trouble

2011-12-20T21:36:00.002-05:00

There are 4 shopping days before Christmas and I have no idea what I am going to get Meggan. This is not good. Worse yet, I'm pretty sure she already owns one of everything...ever...made...and two of most things.

Naybe

2011-12-20T21:30:00.002-05:00

Seriously, it is getting very hard to find places for Naybe to hide where a 2 year-old can find him and yet not touch him.

Naybe

2011-12-19T21:40:00.002-05:00

It's not exactly Santa's sleigh, but I'm sure he enjoyed the ride...

Under the Weather

2011-12-19T21:34:00.004-05:00

When Amelia doesn't feel well, she's not the best at hiding it...And as you can see, today was not a good day...

Naybe

2011-12-18T21:21:00.001-05:00

Just hanging around...

Building a Home

2011-12-18T21:13:00.003-05:00

Amelia (with a little help from her mom) did serious work on a gingerbread house tonight.

Getting the instructions...

She was responsible for putting candy on the house...

However, she probably ate more than she built...

The finished product...

It may not be the best looking gingerbread house you've ever seen, but they had a great time doing it and that is really all that matters...kind of.

Naybe

2011-12-17T21:31:00.003-05:00

When Amelia opened the pantry door this morning, she said "There's Naybe!!...He's eating my Tony the Tigers!!"

Misery Loves Company

2011-12-16T21:44:00.002-05:00

Misery loves company is one of my all time least favorite sayings. I am normally proud to say I take no pleasure in other people's problems. I prefer to assume either we are all problem free or at a minimum that I can be of some help to the problems of others. However, when it comes to Amelia and her antics, there is little more comforting than hearing the other parents in her room complain about their children. It isn't that I want them to have issues and I don't wish any harm to anyone. But, man it is just so nice to know that you aren't the only fools being trained to waste an hour a night putting your kid to bed... And it is GREAT to hear you don't have the only kid who basically enjoys taking a dump in her pants. Yep, those are the things that feel great to me these days...and that actually makes me a little more miserable.

Naybe

2011-12-16T21:32:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure he was looking for our knives

Bad Night

2011-12-15T20:54:00.003-05:00

Amelia has cried in her bed for an hour now with no signs of slowing. While we hate her nights ending this way, she has to learn to go to bed on her own. Once Everett is here, we won't be able to devote an hour to sitting in her bed with her each night. As an added frustration, she is so tired and is still getting over her cold so she is yawning between cries and coughing between yawns.

Tornado?

2011-12-14T20:38:00.003-05:00

During a pretty windy day last week, we nearly lost Amelia's first house. The real tragedy, of course, is her Homeowner's Insurance company denied the claim.

Naybe

2011-12-14T20:29:00.002-05:00

Ladies love a man in uniform...

Commotions

2011-12-13T20:20:00.002-05:00

Try and try as she might, there are still some words Amelia has not mastered...

Last night sitting around the Christmas tree...
Me: Amelia, did you get Mommy anything for Christmas yet?
Amelia: Yep
Me: You did?!?
Amelia: Mommy, I got a super-prize (SURPRISE) for you.

Tonight while watching TV with me...
Me: Let me fast forward for a second
Amelia: We don't like commotions!
Me: Commotions? I think you mean COMMERCIALS.
Amelia: Yeah, commotions.
Me: Okay, baby.

There is, however, one saying she has down...

Me: Hey, you need to stop jumping on the couch!
Amelia: You need to chill out.

...and there you have it.

Naybe

2011-12-12T21:03:00.001-05:00

I warned Naybe...if he scratches my Entourage DVDs, I'm not above beating on an Elf.

Living the Life

2011-12-12T21:00:00.002-05:00

If you don't get to jump in the bounce house in your living room and take baths while wearing a fireman's hat...you just aren't living right...

Naybe

2011-12-11T21:08:00.001-05:00

I think he was looking for the liquor cabinet...

Interior Decorator

2011-12-11T20:56:00.003-05:00

I suppose when the dog won't let you put a hat on its head...

or its butt...

and the stocking just won't stay on...

you eventually just give up and put the entire tree skirt on it...

Naybe

2011-12-09T23:12:00.004-05:00

Naybe

Sophie Claus

Naybe

2011-12-08T21:13:00.002-05:00

I originally had Naybe "planking" on top of this painting this morning. However, after kept saying he was sleeping, I decided he needed to wake up.

Christmas Concert

2011-12-08T21:09:00.005-05:00

Amelia had her Christmas Concert tonight. It is always fun to get to see her interact with her friends.

I'm not feeling so bad about skipping the ballet recital after tonight...

Naybe

2011-12-07T22:13:00.003-05:00

Since I started posting pictures of Naybe, I have received several emails and messages with links to all the cool and funny things people are doing with their elves. I've checked out a few of the links and am pretty impressed by how creative people can be. That said, we are probably still a year or so out from doing most of the ideas. At this point, Amelia isn't old enough to understand the wit behind putting a tiny coat and scarf on Naybe and hiding him in the freezer. She is just ecstatic when she finds him each morning. In order for that to happen, he has to be fairly out in the open or else she just says "he's still with Santa". Also, if Naybe isn't hidden up high, the next photo on the blog would be a vicious crime scene with arms, legs, and missing heads strewn about at the hands of a murderous Sophie. So, please keep sending me any ideas you come across for Elves, Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies, etc. You may not see them in the next week or so, but I am stockpiling them so I can blow .... Amelia's .... mind ... when she is old enough to appreciate the effort.

Naybe

2011-12-06T22:49:00.003-05:00

Who doesn't want to wake up to find a freaky little elf has been hanging from their curtain and watching them sleep?!?

Who is Pregnant?

2011-12-05T21:09:00.004-05:00

Somehow, I'm 99% sure I have gained more weight than Meggan during this pregnancy. Now, I have already given her praise on here for being very healthy during her pregnancy. That said, I have more than picked up the slack on devouring all unhealthy food items. Now, for those of you who have seen me recently, you may say I'm exaggerating my situation a bit. Well, I'll admit it is all relative. However, I was greeted at work last week by someone saying "you're looking round these days". This morning, I tried to put on a pair of old work pants and the button and buttonhole were so far apart you'd have thought they were allergic to each other. I'm guessing I have had to loosen my belt by at least one notch...If I were able to actually see my belt, I'd be able to know for sure. Seriously, I look like I was kidnapped by the Keebler Elves and was forced to eat my way out of their cookie dungeon. Clearly, this isn't going to work. I don't see any reason to wait for a New Year's resolution at this point. So, I will go ahead and put it on here for public accountability. My goal is to be back to my pre-Meggan-pregnancy weight by the time Everett comes home. I don't have much time so I plan on getting started immediately....well, right after I finish this Drumstick ice cream cone.

Naybe

2011-12-05T21:02:00.002-05:00

Naybe

2011-12-04T22:43:00.001-05:00

Probably just checking to see how much coal he'll be able to fit in there.

Sometimes the Show Doesn't Go On

2011-12-04T22:34:00.002-05:00

Amelia and I are both currently under the weather...so much so that we did not make it to her ballet recital. Meggan and I were very disappointed in our decision to be responsible adults tonight. We really wanted to see Amelia having fun on stage. That said, we didn't think the fun we would have watching her do a 5 minute dance was worth risking her health. It may seem a bit extreme, but given her past history and our numerous trips to Urgent Care, we didn't feel surrounding her with 30 other germy kids backstage for an hour while she nervously wondered where mommy and daddy were was the best idea. Luckily, we just wrote the check for the Spring semester of ballet...if at first you don't succeed, try try again.

Naybe

2011-12-03T22:25:00.000-05:00

Naybe knows the reason for the season...

The More Things Change...

2011-12-03T22:20:00.003-05:00

There have been countless changes over the last year or so...and yet, some habits die hard...

Amelia hanging around in Lowe's last year...

Amelia hanging from the cart in Lowe's last night...

Naybe

2011-12-02T22:22:00.002-05:00

Uninformed

2011-12-01T21:56:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure which one of you told Amelia she's the boss around here. I suppose it could be a newly found power she feels from wearing Yo Gabba Gabba panties instead of diapers. Either way, she's on the brink of learning a very hard lesson. She's going to need to realize that I run this house and what I say goes. Okay, well, I'm not in charge of Meggan. But, I'm pretty much second in command. Well, not quite second because Sophie doesn't really listen to anything I say either. So, probably more like third. But, this much I know...Amelia is confused about the bottom of the totem pole if she thinks it's me. I suppose once you can drink without the help of a sippy cup, you're grown enough to no longer need a bed time? And I guess once you're old enough to formulate your own sentences, it's perfectly fine to ignore anything I say? Does she not think this balding head has earned me a little authority??? Do these beginning crow's feet not represent a small amount of wisdom??? Does reaching the age where physicals now include a significant amount of prison-like touching from the doctor not give me the occasional right to enforce a rule???Apparently not if you ask a 2 year-old...a 2 year-old who is heading to military school if she doesn't find her "listening ears" very soon.

Naybe

2011-12-01T21:47:00.001-05:00

This little guy gets around...

Naybe

2011-11-30T21:01:00.001-05:00

Amelia has gotten so adept at spotting her little elf friend that she spotted him hiding in these flowers...from the top of the stairs...20 feet away.

Beauty Salon

2011-11-30T20:51:00.003-05:00

If you can't find Amelia at any point during a visit to her grandparents' house, the safest place to look is her Grandmother's makeup chair. She will sit there forever pretending to put on makeup and doing her hair over and over again. For any of you wondering how she maintains such a beautiful bounce in her 'do...apparently the answer involves shoving an inordinate amount of Q-tips in it.

Naybe

2011-11-29T21:23:00.002-05:00

Feel So Happy

2011-11-28T21:46:00.004-05:00

She's learning...but, she's not quite there yet...here is our most recent dinner table discussion...

Amelia: (clearly passing gas like a grown man after a chili dog eating contest) Oh
Me: Amelia, do you need to go stinky?
Amelia: No
Me: Are you sure? I think you might need to go stinky in the potty.
Amelia: No. I just toot-tooted.
Me: Oh, okay.
Amelia: Toot-tooting is okay.
Me: Yeah, toot-tooting is okay.
Amelia: We don't stinky in our pants. That makes us so sad.
Me: Right
Amelia: Right. Stinky in our pants makes us sad, but Toot-tooting makes us feel so happy!
Me:Umm, yeeeah, something like that.

Where's Naybe?

2011-11-28T21:24:00.003-05:00

This year, we are employing the fantastic holiday element Elf on the Shelf. For those of you who haven't heard of Elf on the Shelf, here is a quick rundown - Santa sends an elf to your house to watch over you. The elf reports your behavior back to him each night while you sleep. The next day, you have to find him again as he always returns to a different viewing spot. You aren't allowed to touch him and he isn't allowed to talk to you. These are very strict rules. For reasons unknown to me, Amelia decided to name her elf "Naybe". So far, through two nights of Naybe staying with us, she has definitely taken a major interest into his whereabouts. That said, we can't tell if she excited to have a direct connection to Santa or if she is creeped out by the 7-inch Peeping Tom running around our house. Either way, I hope it makes her behave.

Night 1 in the hallway...

Night 2 in the shower...

Sights from the Weekend

2011-11-27T22:05:00.004-05:00

I need one of these in my yard...

So I can do this much more often...

I've lived all my life in the South and yet I had almost never seen real cotton...

Speaking of big, fluffy things...

Parades are Fun?

2011-11-27T21:46:00.005-05:00

Amelia attended her first parade this weekend. For her, it definitely was met with mixed reviews....

Anxiously awaiting the parade with her cousins...

Holding hands to help during the excitement...

All the candy a 2 year-old can grab...

Not a big fan of clowns...even when the clown is her Uncle...

Needing some support from Grandpa...

Only kid at the parade with this look...

There is very little a baby chick can't cure...

On the Road Again

2011-11-23T21:30:00.002-05:00

It is time for the holidays once again and that can mean only one thing...I miss living near family. We are very fortunate to be able to travel (even though the car ride at 8 months pregnant and with a 2 year-old really sucks) to see some relatives this weekend. That said, I will still dearly miss seeing my side of the family. While I see no reasonable solution to the problem, I don't think I'll ever get used to the idea that Amelia and Everett will never experience a large family gathering that doesn't require luggage. There are very few things I'd go back and revisit from childhood (I actually enjoy being an adult), but Thanksgiving dinners with all my family living close by is near the top of the list (naturally, just behind the awesomeness of Saturday morning cartoons)

Lazy Sunday

2011-11-21T21:29:00.002-05:00

Sophie was able to take advantage of a lazy Sunday by taking a nice nap with Everett...

Underestimated

2011-11-20T20:56:00.002-05:00

When I said "99% of our family will not particularly like" the name Everett, I slightly underestimated them. While the number appears to actually be lower than 99%, the 90% who don't particularly like it....seem to particularly hate it. In an interesting study, we have heard basically nothing positive from anyone over 50 and virtually nothing negative from people under 40 (lukewarm results in the 40-50 range). We've heard feedback ranging from "I'd have preferred that" in reference to us jokingly saying we could have named him Diego (what Amelia wanted to name him after a character in one of her favorite cartoons) to "I LOVE THE NAME. I think it is strong, masculine, and honorable" (A message I received). Luckily, regardless of feedback, we still love it and I have a suspicion that once the snuggly baby arrives, nobody else will care what its name is.

As a side note, for those of you who think Everett is a strange name - according to Howmanyofme.com, there are 10% more "Everetts" in this country than there are "Amelias".

And We Shall Call Him...

2011-11-19T21:48:00.002-05:00

Well, after much deliberation, we have arrived at a name for Baby Brother. We basically had 2 or 3 main names in the running for the last several months. Ironically, we got rid of all of them and went with a name we first discussed today. Additionally strange, we are pretty certain 99% of our family will not particularly like the name we chose. Luckily, unlike the Wall Street situation, in this case we are in the 1%. And since we'll be paying all the bills, going through all the sleepless nights, and generally assuming all responsibility for him...our opinions are all that matters. We decided to go with an old English name (like we did with Amelia) that we felt was uncommon, yet strong. From here forward, Baby Brother shall be known as Everett Joel.

Pleasure to Meet You

2011-11-18T21:53:00.005-05:00

Priorities

2011-11-17T21:23:00.002-05:00

Gator Basketball game streaming live online

Denver Broncos and Tim Tebow playing live on TV

Yeeeeeah, there's not going to be a post on here tonight.

Checkup

2011-11-16T21:13:00.002-05:00

Everything went great at Meggan's doctor visit today. We are very appreciative of the blessing of having a healthy pregnancy. I proudly take absolutely zero percent of the credit. So, first I'd like to thank God for looking over us. Additionally, I'd especially like to thank Meggan for putting the pregnancy at the forefront of all matters. She gave up sweet tea. She gave up Diet Coke. She never takes medicine. She takes her vitamins religiously. She reads parenting books and blogs nightly. In short, she does everything she can do as often as she can do it to ensure the greatest possible health of the baby. For that, she has a very grateful husband and a very lucky baby boy on the way.

Next Level

2011-11-15T21:45:00.002-05:00

Amelia has taken her guitar shredding to a new level....from her plastic guitar that plays music when you push a button to a mini guitar that you have to strum.

Here is the best video I could get on my cell phone. (Itsy Bitsy Spider) So far, she won't play any free shows for me when I have my real camera.

So Proud

2011-11-14T21:20:00.004-05:00

For any of you out there who are thinking of having children, let me fill you in on something...they are gross little creatures. Exhibit 1 - After Amelia's bath tonight, we were brushing her teeth when she ripped a huge fart, spit her toothpaste into the sink, said "I toot tooted on you", dropped her towel, ran naked down the hallway, and began jumping on her bed. Now, I assure you we do not teach her to do these things (although it sounds like something Meggan would do) and we try not to reward her bad behavior. That said, I am mature enough to admit that I am far too immature not to laugh at toddler fart celebrations...tonight was no exception.

Less Than Free to Good Home

2011-11-13T20:55:00.003-05:00

Here is the aforementioned cat from the earlier post. If any of you like cats, he/she should definitely become part of your family. It is very sweet, but has no known home and it is getting cold outside. We can't bring it here because of the new baby coming and the fact that "cat" is Sophie's favorite flavor of lunch meat. I say it is less than free because on top of all the love the cat could give you (which is priceless), it comes with a month's supply of food to get you started! How can you pass up that kind of deal???

Absence

2011-11-13T19:08:00.002-05:00

I know there has been a bit of an absence in posts this week. It isn't that there hasn't been anything to write about...I just wouldn't know what those things are because I have been stuck working on my actual job far, far more hours than should be legally allowed. This week should be much better. So, we'll get it started with a short post about our weekend...

Sooooo, last night after leaving Urgent Care with Amelia at Midnight, we had to stop by Meggan's office to feed her stray cat.... wait, maybe this week isn't getting off to a better start.

Get in the Back

2011-11-10T20:44:00.005-05:00

Amelia and I came across a police cruiser with a car seat strapped in the back. I had never seen that before and to be honest, I never really considered the possibility of it. While thinking better of using it as an opportunity to tell Amelia they kept a car seat in the back in case they had to arrest her for pooping in her pants, I did try to think of a few reasons for this scenario....

- maybe it really is against the law to poop your pants
- perhaps the seat is for a 'little person"
- there may be a rash of baby gang violence that I have not heard about
- it might have been early preparation in case a Hangover-like situation were to pop off and a few guys find a baby and steal the police cruiser
- maybe the baby requested a ride along to see what a career in law enforcement was like
- they may have been filming the new TV series Undercover Baby
- given what I know of babies, it easily could have been a nudity in public charge
- perhaps they finally busted the E-Trade baby for insider trading
- maybe the baby got out of hand at a local Occupy protest
- the local police might be running a Scared Straight program to warn toddlers of the risks of living a life of crime
- might have fallen prey to a riding tricycle while intoxicated arrest

Oh well, I guess we'll never know the true story of this tiny outlaw. Let's just all hope they can straighten their lives out before it is too late.

Top Chef, Toddler Division

2011-11-08T17:31:00.003-05:00

One of Amelia's new favorite hobbies is cooking sweets with her mother. Coincidentally, one of my favorite hobbies is eating sweets. Not so coincidentally, I am about 2 cookies away from not being able to see my belt.