Friday, March 20, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Goodbye old friend
Mr. U. Cord
(Feb. 2009 - Mar. 2009)
Today we lost a historic member of our family. Amelia's Umbilical Cord has gone to a better place. I'd like to ask for a moment of silence in honor of this brave, little soldier that held on for more than two weeks. While he was only with us for 18 days, it felt like an eternity. He plummeted 4 feet to his death during a routine baby exchange between Meggan and myself. As he lay on the floor, shriveled and crusty, looking like a corn flake burnt over a campfire, I'm pretty sure I saw a single tear drop down Meggan's cheek. We will miss you dear friend. Rest in Peace.
(Feb. 2009 - Mar. 2009)
Today we lost a historic member of our family. Amelia's Umbilical Cord has gone to a better place. I'd like to ask for a moment of silence in honor of this brave, little soldier that held on for more than two weeks. While he was only with us for 18 days, it felt like an eternity. He plummeted 4 feet to his death during a routine baby exchange between Meggan and myself. As he lay on the floor, shriveled and crusty, looking like a corn flake burnt over a campfire, I'm pretty sure I saw a single tear drop down Meggan's cheek. We will miss you dear friend. Rest in Peace.
Barber Babble
So, I started this blog to document life before Amelia with the hopes that she would begin "writing" her own posts. She hasn't been inspired yet, she said, so I figured I would offer some of my thoughts. As someone who has always demanded at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night (seriously, I was the kid at slumber parties who fell asleep at 8 p.m.) but is now running on 2 hour cat naps strung together over the course of a night, these thoughts are truly babble.
They don't give a trophy at the end of labor. They should. My labor lasted a little over 11 hours including 2.5 hours of pushing something the size of a basketball out of something the size of key hole. At the end of it all, I came away with a renewed love of so many people. I loved Dr. Palermo and my nurse Mary. For days after delivery I kept thinking of how I could repay them for their help during that ordeal. After racking my brain, I realized that no fruit basket or flowers could make up for what they had to deal with that evening. We shall leave it at that. I was just glad to talk to Jenn Keyes days later to realize that I wasn't the only nutcase who cried for days because she "missed" her doctor.
As Dr. Palermo and Mary worked away, there was one person there going above and beyond the call of marriage. Through the birth and weeks after, I have come to love Randall more than ever. I didn't think it was possible to love someone more, but, surprise, I do. He was by my side the whole time telling me what a great job I was doing. He got me the world's best burger after everything was over. Most of all, he loves me after all of that. Randall is great at so many things, but his greatest talent truly lies in how well he loves me.
During labor and afterward, there were so many people there to show us how much they cared about us. Our family waiting patiently for hours for Mia to arrive, and I've never seen a bunch of adults go so nuts over a baby. It was nice to once again maybe even for one of the last times, to be someone else's baby. Thanks Mama and Daddy for making sure the staff was on task and for taking care of me even when I was sleeping. The help I got during my first week from Mama deserves a post all it's own.
Then there was Jenn G. She is one of the best friends I've ever had. When she walked into the hospital room the day after Mia arrived, her soft voice and the smell of cheese biscuits and cupcakes were just what I needed. Jenn, I can't tell you how much I needed a visit from you when you were there. XOXO.
Who am I forgetting? Oh yes, Miss Mia. Those few minutes when they handed her to me when she was born were the most surreal of my life. It was as if everyone went away and it was just me and her. There she was with her wig of dark hair and big eyes looking up at me. Even through my epidural haze, it was love. For those first few days when I didn't know what to do with her, I still just wanted her close to me. I would have also preferred one of those baby nurses to be close as well, but nonetheless, those feelings are still there. When Randall lets me out of my crate (house) to run to Sam's or Harris Teeter alone, those trips are truly delicious, but I find myself racing to finish my errand to get back home to her. For the first time in my life, I have let go of everything in between and am so thankful for this time I've been given to spend with this precious little brunette girl with chubby cheeks, crazy toes, her daddy's butt chin, her mama's nose and a habit of getting the hiccups at least twice a day. To quote Paul Simon, as long as one and one is two, there will never be a mother who loves her daughter more than I love you.
They don't give a trophy at the end of labor. They should. My labor lasted a little over 11 hours including 2.5 hours of pushing something the size of a basketball out of something the size of key hole. At the end of it all, I came away with a renewed love of so many people. I loved Dr. Palermo and my nurse Mary. For days after delivery I kept thinking of how I could repay them for their help during that ordeal. After racking my brain, I realized that no fruit basket or flowers could make up for what they had to deal with that evening. We shall leave it at that. I was just glad to talk to Jenn Keyes days later to realize that I wasn't the only nutcase who cried for days because she "missed" her doctor.
As Dr. Palermo and Mary worked away, there was one person there going above and beyond the call of marriage. Through the birth and weeks after, I have come to love Randall more than ever. I didn't think it was possible to love someone more, but, surprise, I do. He was by my side the whole time telling me what a great job I was doing. He got me the world's best burger after everything was over. Most of all, he loves me after all of that. Randall is great at so many things, but his greatest talent truly lies in how well he loves me.
During labor and afterward, there were so many people there to show us how much they cared about us. Our family waiting patiently for hours for Mia to arrive, and I've never seen a bunch of adults go so nuts over a baby. It was nice to once again maybe even for one of the last times, to be someone else's baby. Thanks Mama and Daddy for making sure the staff was on task and for taking care of me even when I was sleeping. The help I got during my first week from Mama deserves a post all it's own.
Then there was Jenn G. She is one of the best friends I've ever had. When she walked into the hospital room the day after Mia arrived, her soft voice and the smell of cheese biscuits and cupcakes were just what I needed. Jenn, I can't tell you how much I needed a visit from you when you were there. XOXO.
Who am I forgetting? Oh yes, Miss Mia. Those few minutes when they handed her to me when she was born were the most surreal of my life. It was as if everyone went away and it was just me and her. There she was with her wig of dark hair and big eyes looking up at me. Even through my epidural haze, it was love. For those first few days when I didn't know what to do with her, I still just wanted her close to me. I would have also preferred one of those baby nurses to be close as well, but nonetheless, those feelings are still there. When Randall lets me out of my crate (house) to run to Sam's or Harris Teeter alone, those trips are truly delicious, but I find myself racing to finish my errand to get back home to her. For the first time in my life, I have let go of everything in between and am so thankful for this time I've been given to spend with this precious little brunette girl with chubby cheeks, crazy toes, her daddy's butt chin, her mama's nose and a habit of getting the hiccups at least twice a day. To quote Paul Simon, as long as one and one is two, there will never be a mother who loves her daughter more than I love you.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Today, a baby....tomorrow, a lady
I am amazed by the changes I see in Amelia day by day. Each time I see her I see more features unique to her and less standard-issue baby. These physical changes are wonderful and its easy to start to see the blend of her parents... she has my chin; she has Meggan's nose; like me, she's grumpy when she is tired; like Meggan, she farts all the time (I'm just kidding - about Meggan. I'm dead serious about the baby. As I've said before, she farts like a trucker after two chili-dogs). While these physical changes make for very exciting times, I cannot wait for her personality to begin to take shape.
I am so eager to see what kind of baby, child, and ultimately woman she becomes. Will she be like me? I am fairly extroverted, but a borderline recluse. I love people. I take great pleasure in talking to people and hearing what they have to say. However, I prefer to be in my own house more than any normal human should. Will she be like her mother who is a little more introverted, but likes to travel and see new things? (Let's just hope she doesn't split the difference and become one of those ladies with 25 cats, no friends, and leaves the house so rarely that neighborhood kids swear she's a ghost.) Will she love sports like I do? Will she be able to play the piano like Meggan? Will she love the Florida Gators? Will I have to disown her for not loving the Gators?
I look at her and my head swirls with all the possibilities. I'm am so grateful to be her dad and to have a front row seat to watch her become whatever God has planned for her. As a father, all I hope is to be fortunate enough to be able to provide her with any opportunity she wants and yet still be wise enough to stay out of her way.
I am so eager to see what kind of baby, child, and ultimately woman she becomes. Will she be like me? I am fairly extroverted, but a borderline recluse. I love people. I take great pleasure in talking to people and hearing what they have to say. However, I prefer to be in my own house more than any normal human should. Will she be like her mother who is a little more introverted, but likes to travel and see new things? (Let's just hope she doesn't split the difference and become one of those ladies with 25 cats, no friends, and leaves the house so rarely that neighborhood kids swear she's a ghost.) Will she love sports like I do? Will she be able to play the piano like Meggan? Will she love the Florida Gators? Will I have to disown her for not loving the Gators?
I look at her and my head swirls with all the possibilities. I'm am so grateful to be her dad and to have a front row seat to watch her become whatever God has planned for her. As a father, all I hope is to be fortunate enough to be able to provide her with any opportunity she wants and yet still be wise enough to stay out of her way.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Things I never knew I loved
Even though I am only a few days into fatherhood, I have already come across a handful of things that exist that I never knew I loved...some I never knew existed, others I just never knew how awesome their existence was.
1) Boppy Pillow - most men probably have never heard of this. Let me tell you, it is great. While this multifaceted pillow can be used as a temporary stand alone bed for your baby, its greatest purpose is to aid you in holding the baby without cramping. For all you tough guys, believe me, holding 8 lbs for an hour is harder than you think.
note: Boppy is rendered much less effective for those of us who have developed a spare tire - or "Nature's Boppy"
2)Baby Burps - There is nothing inherent that I love about the actual baby burp. What I love stems from its implicit value. Meggan and I learned the hard way that not burping means a BAD night. Apparently, you get lots of gas when you suck down milk from a bottle. If this gas does not escape via burp, or other means, it will cause severe pain. If this pain comes and the only word in your vocabulary is WWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! You will say that word loudly and often. So, since the sound of a little baby burp means I won't have to endure the sounds of baby yelling, it has become music to my ears.
3)The relationship between Sophie and Amelia. One of my major concerns before Amelia was born was that Sophie would not react well to her. Let's face it, Sophie has always been the baby and frankly, she hates kids, little people, garden gnomes, and basically anything roughly her size. I thought there was a better than average chance that she was going to try to recreate the Piggy Massacre of 2007 in which I returned home only to find her best stuffed friend's insides all over the apartment. Sophie's reaction has been such the opposite that I almost feel bad for doubting her. Since the second we brought Mia home, Sophie has been absolutely enamored with her. She is perpetually within 5 feet of her, cries if she is locked out of the room Amelia is in, and even goes to the Pack and Play to inspect if Amelia wakes up and we don't notice. I guess she has motherly instincts that she is finally getting to put to use. For any of you wondering, Kitty does not share this beloved quality. The only reaction she has had is that she seemed slightly upset when she found out the crib and swing we not her new beds, but actually belonged to the baby instead.
4)Sleep - I always knew I had a slight affinity for sleep, call it puppy love or a high school crush. That said, now that I have a diaper wearing alarm clock that wakes me up every 2-3 hours, I've realized its more than a crush. It's real love. I have now officially moved sleep ahead of Mexican food on my list...and I eat Mexican like Jared eats Subway. I think it's one of those 'you always want what you can't have' type of things. But, what do I know? It's probably just the lack of sleep talking.
5)Blogging with Meggan - We started this blog so that we could tell silly stories and give friends and family who can't be around a glimpse into Mia's life. Somewhat to my surprise, it has really been fun and we have enjoyed the feedback. However, until tonight, we have never blogged together. Now, the blog we started tonight won't get posted for a few days because one half of the duo got too tired. I don't want to name names, but she is the half who is not writing this post. The little part we were able to do together was more fun than anything I've written by myself. I've always thought Meggan was hilarious and I find it extemely inspiring to see how her mind works. I am looking forward to finishing that post and potentially many more. I hope you all enjoy it.
6)The Look - I always knew it would be special when I first saw my baby look at me. I just didn't realize how miraculously overwhelming it was going to be. I'd run through tons of scenarios in my head during the pregnancy to prepare my emotions. I'd often wondered if the birth would be something I found utterly gross or something I found heavenly. I, by the way, found out those two things are not mutually exclusive. I'd thought I had wrapped my head around what it would be like to see Amelia and to know she was mine forever. I wasn't even close. The truth is there is no preparation for the first time your daughter looks you in the eyes. I know scientifically babies can't see well and she probably isn't staring at me thanking her lucky stars I'm her dad. But, to me, its not a matter of whether or not she can truly see me. What I know from looking at her is that she could feel me. She could feel comfort in me. She could feel love pouring out of me. And, she could feel at home in my arms. That's quite a bit for a little stare to say, but I could hear it loud and clear.
Well, there is my short list of things I have a new appreciation for. I'm sure I can think of a hundred more. However, lack of item #4 on the list has just about rid me of all concious thought. So, for now, this list will have to do.
1) Boppy Pillow - most men probably have never heard of this. Let me tell you, it is great. While this multifaceted pillow can be used as a temporary stand alone bed for your baby, its greatest purpose is to aid you in holding the baby without cramping. For all you tough guys, believe me, holding 8 lbs for an hour is harder than you think.
note: Boppy is rendered much less effective for those of us who have developed a spare tire - or "Nature's Boppy"
2)Baby Burps - There is nothing inherent that I love about the actual baby burp. What I love stems from its implicit value. Meggan and I learned the hard way that not burping means a BAD night. Apparently, you get lots of gas when you suck down milk from a bottle. If this gas does not escape via burp, or other means, it will cause severe pain. If this pain comes and the only word in your vocabulary is WWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! You will say that word loudly and often. So, since the sound of a little baby burp means I won't have to endure the sounds of baby yelling, it has become music to my ears.
3)The relationship between Sophie and Amelia. One of my major concerns before Amelia was born was that Sophie would not react well to her. Let's face it, Sophie has always been the baby and frankly, she hates kids, little people, garden gnomes, and basically anything roughly her size. I thought there was a better than average chance that she was going to try to recreate the Piggy Massacre of 2007 in which I returned home only to find her best stuffed friend's insides all over the apartment. Sophie's reaction has been such the opposite that I almost feel bad for doubting her. Since the second we brought Mia home, Sophie has been absolutely enamored with her. She is perpetually within 5 feet of her, cries if she is locked out of the room Amelia is in, and even goes to the Pack and Play to inspect if Amelia wakes up and we don't notice. I guess she has motherly instincts that she is finally getting to put to use. For any of you wondering, Kitty does not share this beloved quality. The only reaction she has had is that she seemed slightly upset when she found out the crib and swing we not her new beds, but actually belonged to the baby instead.
4)Sleep - I always knew I had a slight affinity for sleep, call it puppy love or a high school crush. That said, now that I have a diaper wearing alarm clock that wakes me up every 2-3 hours, I've realized its more than a crush. It's real love. I have now officially moved sleep ahead of Mexican food on my list...and I eat Mexican like Jared eats Subway. I think it's one of those 'you always want what you can't have' type of things. But, what do I know? It's probably just the lack of sleep talking.
5)Blogging with Meggan - We started this blog so that we could tell silly stories and give friends and family who can't be around a glimpse into Mia's life. Somewhat to my surprise, it has really been fun and we have enjoyed the feedback. However, until tonight, we have never blogged together. Now, the blog we started tonight won't get posted for a few days because one half of the duo got too tired. I don't want to name names, but she is the half who is not writing this post. The little part we were able to do together was more fun than anything I've written by myself. I've always thought Meggan was hilarious and I find it extemely inspiring to see how her mind works. I am looking forward to finishing that post and potentially many more. I hope you all enjoy it.
6)The Look - I always knew it would be special when I first saw my baby look at me. I just didn't realize how miraculously overwhelming it was going to be. I'd run through tons of scenarios in my head during the pregnancy to prepare my emotions. I'd often wondered if the birth would be something I found utterly gross or something I found heavenly. I, by the way, found out those two things are not mutually exclusive. I'd thought I had wrapped my head around what it would be like to see Amelia and to know she was mine forever. I wasn't even close. The truth is there is no preparation for the first time your daughter looks you in the eyes. I know scientifically babies can't see well and she probably isn't staring at me thanking her lucky stars I'm her dad. But, to me, its not a matter of whether or not she can truly see me. What I know from looking at her is that she could feel me. She could feel comfort in me. She could feel love pouring out of me. And, she could feel at home in my arms. That's quite a bit for a little stare to say, but I could hear it loud and clear.
Well, there is my short list of things I have a new appreciation for. I'm sure I can think of a hundred more. However, lack of item #4 on the list has just about rid me of all concious thought. So, for now, this list will have to do.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
More hair than I do!
It is the second night home, I am too tired to blog about anything. I did want to post a picture for anyone who hasn't seen Amelia yet...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
A letter to my wife
A little over two years ago, on our wedding day, I stood in front of our guests and gave a short speech I had written. In that speech, I said that all of my successes would be sweeter because I had you at my side. Tonight, we sit on the eve (potentially) of likely the greatest success we will ever have. I feel even more strongly about that sentiment than I ever knew I could. Indeed, life with Amelia will be sweeter because I have you. When I told you I wanted to try to have a baby, it was not simply because I wanted to be a father. It was because I wanted to be the father of YOUR child. It was because I realized how privileged I was to share this life and this experience with you. With certainty, there will be challenges ahead of proportions you and I have never imagined. I have confidence that our commitment to each other, as well as to Amelia, will more than carry us through. I thank you with all my heart for the daily flashes of brilliance you provide that consistently renew my joy of that commitment. In my life, I have not come across anyone with as much poise, as much understanding, or as much pure love of the little things as you. I cannot express to you how much your presence continually inspires me. You have pushed me to become the man that I am, you have challenged me to be the best father I can be, and when it's all said and done, I'll owe more to you than I can ever repay. Simply put, you are my greatest compliment. I opened with a reference to my wedding day speech. It only seems appropriate to close today the same way I did then - Meggan, you are the love of my life and it is truly an honor to have you as my bride.
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