Happy Mother's Day!

Ahhh, Mother's Day - behind Valentine's day, the second least creative day of the year for men. Why would I say this? Perhaps it is because of the hordes of men I saw today gazing at flowers and staring in unison at Hallmark shelves trying to decide if it would be okay to get their wives a fart joke card? I think it is great to celebrate mothers (it should be done on a regular basis) and I really don't have anything against flowers (nice surprise on a Tuesday, not a major holiday). I simply get bored at seeing the flock of men march into stores to purchase what they assume is the requisite flowers, candy, and cards. Nothing says "I love you, I know what makes you happy, and I appreciate all you do" like mindlessly buying the same crap year after year. Men, listen to me, you don't have to break the bank. You don't even have to blow her mind every year. All I am asking is that you make a damn effort. Lord only knows that not every gift I've given has been a hit, but at least they weren't bought on autopilot. Besides, if your gift ends up falling on its face, you can always rush out and buy flowers.

Delicious?

Two very important baby/toddler facts were on display tonight...

1) They are fast.
2) They will attempt to eat anything.

We were having a fun time blowing bubbles on the deck tonight. Bubbles and laughter filled the air. Somewhere amidst the chaos of fun, Amelia picked up an item and quickly tried to eat it. Luckily, we were watching her closely and were able to intervene with this poor, poor decision. What was the item, you ask? A bird dropping that we didn't notice on the deck. Yes, my daughter tried to join Sophie in the ranks of DooDoo eaters. Now, I'm not sure about where you grew up, but where I come from, having half your household eating poopsicles is a far cry from acceptable.

Discovery

Today, while predominantly unremarkable, will be bookmarked and referred back to later in Amelia's life as the day she discovered trouble. Up until this point, Amelia really has been pretty well behaved and any trouble has been completely self contained - being fussy, throwing fits, etc. This time, it was different. She didn't actually cause any trouble tonight. There were no crayons eaten. Sophie still has all four paws and one tiny nubby. She even took her medicine without her head spinning around 360 degrees. So, what is it that happened? Well, she discovered a weapon of mass destruction - the flushable toilet. She's always been vaguely aware that there was a big, white seat in the room. Additionally, more than one roll of toilet paper has been reduced to a pile of fun on the floor. So, she's clearly known there was some potential going on in the bathroom. I feared a day would come in which Mia decided splashing in the toilet water would be hilarious or that she'd use it to test exactly how water resistant my watch really is. However, I hadn't planned on her finding the handle so early. Thus, I was met with great surprise tonight while I was getting her allergy medicine ready and heard the sound of the beginnings of a flush. When I looked over at her, she was already staring at me grinning as if she had hit the Powerball jackpot. With two hands firmly clinching the handle, she began to repeatedly tug. At this point, she doesn't seem to be strong enough to get a complete flush - which will totally blow her mind. So, I will enjoy this time while I can because I have a feeling it won't be long before I find Sophie swirling around in a porcelain pond.

Strange Bedfellows

I'll start by apologizing for the picture quality on this post. They were taken with my brick of a cell phone. Apparently, I am the last person on Earth without an IPhone, Droid, or any other sophisticated phone/camera/mini computer. What I have is more like a cross between a pager and Zack Morris's phone from Saved By The Bell.

As has been chronicled on here a dozen times, Amelia isn't the greatest sleeper in the world. So, when we get the chance to see her completely at peace in restful bliss, it is very special for us.



However, I REALLY, REALLY wish we could catch her getting this kind of rest someplace other than horizontally across OUR bed (that's my head in the corner and that empty pillow is where Meggan was sleeping before we voted her off the island).



This is definitely not a habit we want to start. Unfortunately, I think we already have.

Recall

Well, as most of you probably know, there was a giant recall this week on a variety of baby medicines. As any parent would, we rushed to check everything we give to Mia. We found out that of the cocktail of drugs Amelia gets most nights, all but one were recalled. Thankfully I am cheap and bought a generic brand of Zyrtec or it would have been EVERY medicine she takes. Given the scope of this recall, I would assume many parents are in the same boat. Of course, I don't know how many of them have children that have had the chronic allergy, sinus, illness issues Amelia has been fond of bringing home. This recall has me feeling like not such a great parent. So, I have now dropped her on her coconut, complained about her being too fussy when she ended up having croup, and now stuffed her full of less than stellar drugs. For an encore, perhaps I'll take her for a swim in the Gulf of Mexico oil slick.

Owwwwwww

Why would I be posting at 2:30 in the morning? Late night partying? Insomnia? Stroke of genius in my sleep too important to wait until morning? Uhh, no. If you guessed severe pain in my foot so striking it won't allow me to sleep, give yourself a pat on the back. Worse yet, I have absolutely no idea what happened. When I woke up yesterday morning, my big toe was in pain as if had broken it. However, it was fine when I went to sleep and I didn't get up in the middle of the night. Now, I know I am getting old and am likely to pull a muscle doing something as strenuous as bending down to tie my shoe. However, somehow breaking a toe while sleeping would be a new low for me. In an effort to figure out my issue I have now consulted with the Internet to self-diagnose and I regret to inform you that I have a Gout infested, arthritic bunion on my gangrenous, broken big toe. Who needs med school when you have Google?

Prom Night

At dinner tonight we saw two girls that were headed to Prom. Hopefully, by this point they are having one of the best nights of their lives...although, I assure you most of the best nights of your life do NOT start at the mediocre Mexican chain restaurant we dined at this evening. Anyways, seeing these girls naturally made us flash forward to Amelia's Prom night. It's always funny as a parent when you get these glimpses into your child's future yet they are basically just stories from your past retold new and improved. Thus, my visions of Amelia's Prom all include some great slow jams from the 90's. As Meggan put it, picturing her all dolled up makes you both happy and sad. I know Meggan is desperately looking forward to all the girlie things life with a daughter has to offer. So, spending the day getting Mia ready for Prom is probably the pinnacle of all pre-wedding day occasions. For me, I don't even want to think about some high school guy coming by to pick up my baby girl. I'll have to make sure he understands the severity of the ramifications of his actions. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do that since I'll be nearly 50 at the time and I don't scare anyone now, but I'm confident I'll find a way. If not, I'll let Sophie handle it. Of course, she'll be 21 by then, but she's got spunk and quite a bit of fight in her - boys beware.