Reset

I just found several photos like this on my phone .... seems like it might be time to change my password from 1111.

Toothless

Another tooth down.  Everett now officially has to gum down all of his meals....and he's really shy about showing it...or not...

Break

I'm slacking. That's really all I can say about it.  I'm not posting regularly.  I'm not sure we took any pictures at Christmas.  I haven't been to work in a week. I haven't shaved in 11 days.  I guess what I'm saying is....this is a really nice Christmas break.  I'll get back to business in the new year.  Until then, the only hard work I'm looking for is racing against Everett at MarioKart.

Camera (not) Shy

Everyone loves a good picture of Everett.  That said,  nobody loves it more than Everett does.  Here he is getting busted trying to pose for a selfie.  He probably took 15 pictures on my phone before giving up.

Last Minute

Santa, in case you're reading this, here is a last minute request.  If you're not, it's okay...Amelia will survive without a giant, fluffy panda....this year.

Anything for a Laugh

This is the face of a 9 year-old trying not to spit her TCBY everywhere after she just called the massage chair her dad was sitting in the "fat belly jiggle chair".  On a negative note, that stung a little. On a positive note, I'll take any laugh from my kids that I can get...even if it is at my expense.

What a Character

My man earned recognition for showing good character at school today.  From what I could tell, it was for spending time filling in muddy holes on the playground so nobody would step in them and get hurt.  To be honest, I don't care what it was for...anything that makes him feel good about showing good character instead of being a character is a win.  

Cool as Ice

Everett got to go ice skating for the first time yesterday.  I was a little worried about all the people zipping around him.  I didn't want him to hit his head or get his finger chopped off.  As you can see, he didn't exactly share my concern....

Check

New haircut in a side braid? Check

"Statement" necklace? Check

Grown-up cardigan? Check

Skinny jeans? Check

Teenage boots? Check

Dad who wishes his daughter still liked to dress in an Elmo shirt? CHECK

Before and After

Before Ev got his haircut, he was a wild-haired, tooth-missing pirate .....

 Afterwards, he had transitioned into a suave man who enjoys the finer things in life like cookies and massage chairs....

Turf War

Everett lost his third tooth tonight.  You'd think Meggan and I would be used to it by now, but there's something about the sight of a kid with a grotesquely wiggly tooth that makes both of us want to give up custody, pack our things, and leave that kid behind.  Luckily, I've so far been able to overcome this feeling and get out the teeth.  Now, the only question is whether Naybe and the Tooth Fairy will get along or devolve into a magical turf war.

Age Limit

Well, I've checked every page of the parenting manual and I can't seem to find the section where they give you the exact ages you're supposed to let your kids do things.  It's easy when they're really young.  Those milestones are mostly a function of physical growth. They sit up when they're strong enough.  They sleep through the night when they aren't hungry or wet.  Potty training starts once they understand the signals their bodies are sending.  However, when they get older, the struggle shifts to balancing their maturity with your anxieties as a parent.  I would say at this point, my kids' are maturing faster than I'm getting over my anxieties.  They want to watch shows I'm not ready for them to see. They want to play video games I'm not ready for them to play.  They want to listen to songs I'm not ready for them to hear.  I knew they wouldn't like Elmo and playing with Barbies forever, but do we have to jump straight to killing everything on the screen and asking for an IPhone every week??  I'm waiting on the day Everett asks if he can ride his bike to the store or Amelia wants to know if she can go on a date.  The answer, of course, to Everett is "over my dead body" and to Amelia is "over the boys dead body".  Hey, I'm trying, but that's my baby girl. 

Sooner Than Expected

After wanting one for 5 years, I finally broke down and bought a truck for myself.  While driving the kids around in it, Everett kept commenting on how cool it was. I jokingly told him he could have it when he's old enough to drive.  It wasn't until some time later that I realized that is only 9 years and 1 month away.  I might literally still have this truck when he's 16 and will almost certainly have it in 6 years when Amelia can drive.  Forget the highways, why doesn't someone put a speed limit on time?!?!

Watching

Don't look now, but it seems like our elf, Naybe has made his way back into our house.  To be honest, I'm happy to see the little guy.  Let's just hope he stays out of trouble this year.  He's already been found trying to eat our last cookie.   I'll try to snag a picture of him soon. 

Reminder

On the very, very bright side, Amelia received a good review at the doctor today.  On the much, much less bright side, she also got the DVD from the play she was too sick to be in... while she was happy to see her friends do well, she had to watch parts of it through tears.

Fingers Crossed

There were roughly 22 people at our Thanksgiving Dinner.... 7 of which now have colds.  Here's to hoping we somehow avoided those germs.  I don't think Amelia could handle another round!

Nice Try

Ev tried to teach an old dog new tricks.... I'm not sure if his Great Uncle learned, but he tried.....

On The Road

Travelling to Atlanta with these guys. Fun, family, and food. Sounds like a good trip to me...

Look

This is the look of a girl not amused by the prospect of more medicine...and also a look I've seen after many terrible dad jokes...

Oreo days

Today was the day we finally got to make Oreo balls.  We all love them.  Ev ran in screaming "let me help!". It was so so loud.  He happily smashed the Oreos violently  then left to go play Ipad.  He came right back when we said he could help roll the Oreos. Once he was done rolling them, they were small and crumbly.  Apparently daddy is an expert on dinos because he said they look like dino poop. We all died laughing (they did look like it).  Luckily we had white chocolate to cover some up. :) 

Amelia

Could Have Been Worse

While I'm so incredibly thankful Amelia got to come home from the hospital after her overnight stay, I have to say it could have been much worse.  It started off a little rough when they stuck her with an IV and served her hospital fish sticks for dinner.  That said, they really redeemed themselves with movies, Nintendo, and ice cream...by the end, I'm not sure she was ready to leave...

Hmmmm

Well, today sucked. I'm too tired to get into it, but let's just say it involved Amelia's pneumonia, an ambulance ride, luxurious hospital accommodations, and two scared parents.  It seems like all will be well in a few days, but that's a few days too many.

Season's Change

Fall is here.  The weather is cold.  The leaves are beautiful.  The fire pit is going....

Blown Up

This is the look of a man whose sister just accidentally blew up the Minecraft house he spent an hour building...

Shopping

Does it really count as making a list if you just leisurely enjoy a french toast stick while you circle every single item in the Target ad??

Get Well

While it's been a rough week for Amelia, her spirits were lifted yesterday when she received a gift from school.... A framed poster from her play signed by the entire cast (even the big teenagers) wishing her a quick recovery and letting her know they missed her and love her.... a dad couldn't hope for more than that kind of support.

Next Time

The play performances have come and gone....as have our guests.....as has a birthday party Amelia was looking forward to....yet what remains is Amelia's fever.  My poor girl needs to catch a break.

Delay

After 6 weeks and over 70 hours of rehearsal, tonight is finally opening night of the Amelia's play...unfortunately, thanks to a surprise 103 degree fever, she had to miss it.  For now, she'll have to enjoy the fact that she made it onto the school's facebook page...

Late Nights, Early Mornings

This little girl is ready for her play. .She is now in the middle of a week straight of being at rehearsal or shows 5 hours per night...her parents are also in the middle of a week of trying to figure out how to shuffle her to school, get her to the play, take Everett to soccer, pick her up at 10pm, and try to squeeze in some work.  Oh well, at least she's beautiful in her play makeup....

Loss

Well, it's a sad time in the Barber house. Not only did my Gators lose today, but we also suffered the loss of a dear part of our household this week.  After almost ten years, it was hard to say goodbye.  I, of course, and talking about the demise of the Little Chick towel....she had to go to the towel rack in the sky after her head unfortunately fell off. We're down to a precious few items from Amelia's time as a baby...

Next Time

Well, I didn't win the lottery....but, these two are still willing to party with me...

Party Time

After I win the lottery tonight, the kids and I are going to spend tomorrow partying like it's 1999. Celebratory ice cold Cokes for everyone!!

Open Door Policy

As expected, the kids loved the hotel last night.  I'd say their favorite part was going out on the rooftop terrace and looking over the city from hundreds of feet in the air. I'd say my least favorite part was the frosted bathroom door that burned this nightmarish image of my kids into my head for life.....

Together

This has been one of those weeks. Monday - Meggan worked until after bedtime.  Tuesday - Meggan worked until after bedtime.  Wednesday - I worked until after bedtime.  Thursday - I worked until after bedtime.  Tonight - Meggan worked until after bedtime. Tomorrow night - Meggan has to work at an event until after bedtime.  Since this event is at a rooftop restaurant downtown and we haven't been able to spend much time together as a family this week, I decided to book a hotel room in the same building.  That way, we can spend the day wandering around downtown and then Meggan just has a short elevator ride to come snuggle everyone after her event.  Sometimes, when there just isn't enough time, you have to improvise.

Spirit

This is spirit week at the kids' school.  I don't particularly remember participating much in Spirit week myself. However, they aren't looking to miss a chance to dress up.  Tomorrow is tin foil and duct tape fashion. Uhhh, great. Oh, did I mention Meggan worked last night and tonight so the poor kids are stuck with whatever Mr. Mom can slap together?  At least they'll look cool in their new glasses tomorrow...

Surprise

I opened my phone tonight and this surprise photo was on the screen. .  I think he's such a funny, little wild man. I know I'm the luckiest dad alive. 

Watching

Everett and I were getting gas in the car when we turned around and saw this creepy thing staring at us.... needless to say, Everett was not a fan and may never want to go to a gas station again.

Sweet Girl

Heaven gained a new watchdog today.  Rest in peace, Sadie girl.  I'll miss your greetings when I pull onto the farm.

Behind Closed Doors

Amelia has now installed a doorbell on her bedroom.  To which, Everett has responded by putting up these signs on it that say "This is Mimi World", "Ples reg the dore bel", "This was mad by Everett".  So, it seems like if I want to go in Mimi World, I'd better ring that bell or else I'll have to answer to her tiny bouncer.

Bigger and Bigger

These two keep growing and growing and growing...

Two Weeks Notice

I'm not going to name names, but we had to levy our heaviest punishment to date, 2 weeks without any IPad or video games, thanks to some behavior issues at school.  It appears as though someone under the age of 10 in our house is having a very, very hard time remembering when to talk and when to be quiet.  According to said child, the reason they talk so much is because they get too many ideas and they will forget them if they wait until later. Yeah, we didn't buy it either. 

Stars

Amelia took some of her goal-scoring money and bought a lighted canopy for her bed.  She and Everett felt like proper royalty...and crawled in the bed singing Rewrite the Stars from The Greatest Showman....over and over and over.

Money Talks

As a parent, you come across some instances where you know your kids are better than they think.  It is your job to get them to believe in themselves.  After years of trying everything I could think of to get Amelia to be aggressive at soccer, I finally offered her $100 if she scored a goal.  I felt pretty safe because she generally plays defense and avoids any sort of offensive spotlight.  I give her credit, she's a tough defender, but she has not taken a shot in 2 seasons. Literally.  Also, she is playing up an age group so as a 9 year-old, she's playing against 11 year-olds.  Well, when money talks, Amelia apparently listens.  In her first game since my deal.... she scored a goal.  Totally worth it.

Planning

Everett is having a buddy sleep over tonight.  I caught them hatching a master plan for bedtime mischief...

... a master plan that Meggan foiled when she found the IPad they hid under their pillows.  Here's a hint, boys, don't hide contraband under your pillow and then ask your mom to put your tooth under there for the Tooth Fairy.  Oh yeah, Everett also lost a tooth tonight. 

Medium

Amelia was holding my wallet for me when she pulled out my driver's license...

Me: Don't lose that. It's important.

Amelia:  Why does it say Hair: BRO?

Everett: Yeah, like nice hair, Bro!!

Me: No, Bro. It means I have brown hair.

Amelia:  It should said Hair: BALD

Me: Thanks, baby. You're the best.

Amelia:  Why does it say Sex: M?

Me: That mean my gender is male.

Amelia: Noooo, it means Sex: Medium because you're medium sexy.

Everett: Whaaaaaaat?!?

Me: Give me my wallet back. Now.


On one hand, I can't believe she knows the word sexy (even if she doesn't really know what she's saying).  On the other hand, I'm flattered I'm a medium.

Back Again

For those of you wondering, no I didn't quit the blog, go into a coma, or run away from home. Well, actually, that last one isn't that far off.  I just got home from celebrating 20 years of friendship with these guys....

Between us, we moved hundreds of miles, gotten married, gotten divorced, and had a gang of kids.  We don't see each other as much as we'd like, we don't talk as much as we should, but when we get together, it's like no time has passed.

Love Now

My mom's 75th birthday would have been last week.  A dear friend of mine lost his father to cancer last night. Another close friend is taking his furry best friend to the vet for the final time in the morning.  I don't tell you this to dwell on sadness. I tell you this to remind you to love now. Call your parents. Get in the floor and play a game with your kids.  Give your dog an extra spoonful of peanut butter. Today.

Ready to Learn

If you have to stay inside doing homework during a terrible weather weekend, you should do it wearing your favorite Pokemon watch, Army-man dog tags, and Harry Potter glasses.  If you aren't playing with your toys, you may as well represent them...

Power Up

With Hurricane Florence headed our way, we had to make sure we had all the essentials.... donuts, doritos, and drinks. Now, let's just hope we keep our power on so my ice cream sandwiches don't melt.

One Upper

Just when I was getting used to the sight of this beautiful port-a-potty in our neighborhood...

.... another neighbor upped the ante...

....I'm Googling "mailbox urinals" ASAP. 

Biker Problems

What do you do when you tell your kids you'll take them to ride their bikes only to have it start pouring rain? You find an empty parking garage and let them go crazy.  Problem solved....

How do you teach a kid to ride without his training wheels when he's big enough to put them back on himself?

...yeah, that one is still a problem.

Busted

We were wondering what happened to this sad looking thing....

and then we busted this sneaky guy...

Buds

There is no better way to enjoy relaxing on your patio set than to have your little buddy draped over you while he plays games. 

Useful

Me: Hey, bud, what are you doing?

Everett (lifting up his shirt): Looking at my nipples

Me: Put your shirt down.

Everett:  Why? I'm looking at them.

Me: Well, stop. They don't do anything. 

Everett: Yes they do

Me:  Sorry, buddy. You're a boy. 

Everett:  They still do something.

Me: Oh yeah, what's that?

Everett:  Ummm, if you're a superhero, you can shoot lasers out of them. 

Me: (saying nothing because I was laughing too hard)

Crowded

Amelia is now up to a minimum of 4 stuffed animals, 8 pillows, and on many nights, 1 little brother in her bed.  At this rate, she'll need a king size bed by Spring.

Willing Hand

When I need help with something big or heavy, I know right where to go...my main man, Everett.  I had to go recycle a ton of boxes this weekend.  Thanks to his help and insistence on doing it all himself, a job that would have taken me 5 minutes by myself, only took us 20 minutes to do together.