Sunday, May 31, 2009

What's wrong with Old Fashioned?

I'm not sure exactly when I became old, but it has very obviously happened to me. I'm guessing it partially coincided with Amelia being born. All I know is when I watch certain channels, particularly certain "music video" channels, I feel very frightened about what is out there for my baby girl to witness. While I admit I'm not exactly in the scene, I can't help but think these stations, and the media in general, glorify all things sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I have no issue with the way adults want to live their lives as long as it doesn't affect anyone else. I do, however, struggle with how I am going to deal with Amelia's access to these types of things as a child. I don't want her segueing from a Taylor Swift concert special to two drunken strippers wrestling on a reality show. That said, it is unfortunately more common to see the latter. Given this, here is a list of toys I am dreadfully fearing in the future...

1) My First Lil' Stripper Pole - A pole designed for kids who want to imitate mommy's strip-aerobics class.

2) Sippy Pimp Cups - Tiny, gold and diamond plated sippy cups for the most stylish of children

3) Anatomically correct paparazzi-flashing dolls - dolls of all your favorite starlets sans underwear. With the push of a button, up goes the skirt, just like Hollywood's nightlife-loving ladies...Britney, Paris, Lindsay, etc.

4) Teddy Rapxpin dolls - It's just like the Teddy Ruxpin dolls from your youth, except it teaches your child to rap about gettin' money, poppin' Cristal, and pullin' out your glock if someone gets out of line.

Okay, so maybe these toys are a bit exaggerated, but I honestly do feel it is becoming an extremely tough exercise for a kid to just be a kid. My goal is not to shelter Mia, but to allow her to think the world is a safe, clean place to live as long as I possibly can.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Sick day

15+ dirty diapers in two days
$120 spent on prescriptions
1 combined day of work missed

... having a sick baby is not fun.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day. In all honesty, in my life, Memorial Day has mostly meant a day off of work with perhaps a passing thought of the soldiers. However, over the past year or two, the holiday, the war, and what it means to be in the Armed Forces has taken on a different meaning for me. Over this time frame, two of my nephews have decided to join various branches of the military. As an uncle, I selfishly worry about the possible repercussions of these decisions. But, as an American, I am extremely proud and humbled by their bravery. Luckily, one has not been sent overseas yet and the other has enlisted, but is still awaiting training. So, while I have not felt the fear of watching a newscast while they are in harm's way, it has completely opened my eyes to the personal impact of this war. It has shown me that while I have always been thankful for our troops, it has been in the same way that I am thankful for any of America's privileges... I know I am lucky to have them, but I rarely take the time to fully appreciate the magnitude of their impact on my life. So, today, I wanted to take a few moments on here to thank all the service men and women, as well as all the civilian workforce who support them, for all that they do. It is because of your effort, your courage, and your willingness to sacrifice that I am able to feel safe tonight when my family and I go to bed. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Time to ourselves

Over my 3 months as a father, I have learned countless lessons. Additionally, I have gone through countless emotions. Now that Mia is in daycare, I have found Meggan and I faced with a new, rare feeling that I am sure all new parents go through at some point...Guilt. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately in these troubled economic times, I have had to work from virtually the day after the baby was born. Given this, it is natural that guilt has occasionally attempted to creep its way into my mind. It has shown up when I look at Amelia's picture on my desk at work. I've heard guilt's hollow voice when I was unable to attend Mia's pediatrician appointments. Throughout the 3 months, the closest guilt has come to actually cracking the dam were the few occasions in which I have left the baby asleep in the morning and was not able to return until after she was back in bed that night. However, I have always been able to stand up to guilt by using the defense that I HAVE to work. I don't have an option to stay at home and it is directly on Amelia's behalf that I work so hard. Does this make me feel great? No. But, it does make me feel about two rungs up the ladder from deadbeat dads and overall general dirt bags. So, hey, at least I have that going for me.

So, this brings me back to my original point - this new form of guilt Meggan and I have been feeling. Friday was the first opportunity we have had since the baby was born to spend some time together while she was at daycare...and we really liked it. Neither one of us actually wanted to say those words, but it was apparent. There is an overwhelming feeling that I SHOULD want to spend all available waking hours with Amelia. To some extent, this is founded. I do love her with all my heart and would literally give anything for her. However, it was damn nice to be able to go shopping and to eat without having a 3 hour human timer. There was no nap to worry about, no dirty diapers to change, and no bottle to make. It was a welcome chance to hang out with Meggan again as husband and wife, and not solely as parents. So, does this make us bad parents? Are we selfish people? My head tells me we aren't. My head tells me that bad parents don't ever need a break from their children because they go on living their lives with no regard for the kids in the first place. My head tells me that selfish people would be too caught up in themselves to even consider feeling bad about it. But, my heart, a little piece of it still feels like I am undervaluing the precious time I have with Mia, particularly Baby Mia. I'm sure this will be one of those growing experiences that Meggan and I look back on one day. I suppose until that day comes, we will just have to deal with the perpetual act of trying to balance work time, personal time, Amelia time, marriage time, and any other kind of time that exists...at least until Mia gets to the age where she'd rather be waterboarded than hang out with her parents. Then, we will spend our time together talking about how lonely we are and how much we miss our baby girl. Something about grass being greener comes to mind.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Girl talk

So, we haven't blogged in a week. Let's just say I would have preferred blogging to the flogging I have been taking at work recently. That said, I'm too tired to write tonight, so I am turning the blog over to my loyal companion and my baby girl...

Amelia: Wow, what an honor. We get to blog tonight.

Sophie: I'm so excited! I can't believe it. I have been waiting my entire life for a chance to blog. Seriously, this is freakin' awesome!

Amelia: Do you even know what blogging is?

Sophie: Uhh, no.

Amelia: You've never heard of a blog, you bark at dogs that are on TV, and you eat rubber pacifiers..... geez, you're like a 10lb, nubby-tail wagging Einstein.

Sophie: ...says the girl who is routinely mesmerized by a ceiling fan.

Amelia: Well played. So,back to the blog. I think we are just supposed to pick something and talk about it on here.

Sophie: Okay, how about we talk about how awesome my life is at home now that you are in daycare?

Amelia: Awesome like you laying around, sulking like a little punk? Yeah, we all know about that. Don't worry, I think it's sweet that you are a crybaby.

Sophie: First of all, I wasn't sulking. I was merely too euphoric to get off the couch and for your information, I wasn't crying either. I had fur in my eye.

Amelia: Of course you did. On a serious note, I have to admit, I miss hanging out with you all day.

Sophie: Really?!?

Amelia: NO! I just wanted to see if I could get you to cry again.

Sophie: Man, daycare has hardened you.

Amelia: It's rough in the joint. If you aren't hard, you'll never make it. When I first got there, I had to constantly watch over my Similac or they'd try to steal it.

Sophie: Steal your Similac? That just ain't right.

Amelia: It's getting better now that I have put my new plan into place. Let's just say nobody wants to mess with the kid who drools until her bib is soaked and blows out a diaper once a day. Gross? Yes. Brilliant? You bet your furry little puppy ass it is.

Sophie: Do your wits have no end? I am so totally digging you right now. I'm starting to think we make better friends than enemies. What do you say?

Amelia: I'm one step ahead of you... I got my first daycare tat today...it's of you.

Sophie: Awwww, that's so sweet. Can I see it?

Amelia: Sure, here you go.

Sophie: You got a tattoo on your backside of me licking my butt...That's your way of showing your love?

Amelia: Baby steps - love doesn't happen overnight. BTW, don't tell dad about the tat. I'm keeping it hidden under my Elmo panties.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

First day at daycare

Today was Mia's first day at daycare. I've felt pretty good about the need for daycare and how well it will socialize her. However, once I got her there this morning, I had second thoughts. She just seemed so tiny and vulnerable there. Maybe I am biased or overly concerned for her, but I did not get a good feeling when I looked around at the other kids. With no exaggeration, this is what my overly protective father eyes saw:

- A boy in the corner was sharpening the bottom of his rattle like a prison shank.

- A little girl tried to sell me a fake Rolex she had hidden under her swaddle blanket

- Two boys and a teacher were throwing dice and smoking while watching Scarface on a Sesame Street portable DVD player.

- One particularly disturbing child was doing push ups on his knuckles. He had a tattoo across his shoulders that read "Dirrrtier than your diaper" and another tat of lips on a pacifier on his neck.

As if I wasn't freaked out enough by the "fresh meat" stares they were giving Mia or the young man that shouted "hey shorty, I like your Elmo panties" from the back of the room when we walked in, a little boy who, no lie, had grown a full beard, gave me a throat slash gesture and blew me a kiss on my way out the door.

I thought the dogs at Sophie's kennel were tough. I'm not sure Amelia is going to make it out alive. Although, I was proud of the little girl for bring home 10 cigarettes she had won playing 3 card Monte with the girls on her cell block. Who knows, maybe she'll survive after all.

The truth about babies and dogs

Well, the truth about Sophie's feelings for Amelia was finally revealed today. Sophie, our normally rambunctious, happy dog, looked like a crazy-haired version of Eeyore when I walked in for lunch today. I can count the number of times Sophie hasn't greeted me at the door on precisely zero fingers. However, today, she didn't even lift her head from the couch when I walked in. It was the most pathetic sight I've seen in a while. If it doesn't get any better when Amelia leaves tomorrow, I'm going to have to find some puppy anti-depressants.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

So, I know I haven't posted in quite awhile. I have just been enjoying Randall's posts, and I've been just a tad bit busy these days. It seems that when I have some down time, I just want to zone out. Sometimes I feel like I've run a marathon. Too bad it's not having the affect of a marathon on my physique.

Anyway, as I prepare to go back to my job, I can't help but wonder if I'm better at my job or at being a stay at home mother/wife. I mean, I have mad skills when it come to cleaning, but my cooking leaves a bit to be desired. I usually approach cooking like Goldie Hawn in this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ay8dU4tg-BI.

But I can say that while I may not be the best mother by other's standards, I sure have enjoyed giving it my best shot. And if I do say so myself, Amelia seems to dig my style. Over the last 11 weeks I've not only gained a daughter, I've gained a best girl friend. Every day, I wake up, look over in the bassinet and see that smiling face. Maybe she's happy to see me, but she probably just gets a kick out of waking me up. I undo her swaddle and watch her have a big stretch and a smile. She savors a mug of Similac and then we begin the day with some tummy time and girl talk.

Then, we pick out our flyest gear and she sits in her bouncy while I do my hair. Then, we fluff out her mullet and head out to run errands and visit Target. We make it home to meet Daddy for lunch which is the highlight of our day and soon after he leaves she takes a nice long nap while I clean and answer email.

At 4, we wake up, have more smiles and girl talk, and of course more Similac while we wait for Daddy to come home. Finally, he comes through the door and we start dinner (see above). Later at 8, we take a bath, more girl talk except this time we let Daddy in on the fun. We put on her jammies and we all (including Sophie) go in the nursery for bedtime. I rock her while her cd of slow jams softly plays, and by 8:30, she is a sleeping angel.

As I close the nursery door at night, a part of me takes a deep breath and looks forward to some down time with Randall, but another part of me can't wait for the morning to see that smiley face again. It truly is the perfect day every day.

I am the luckiest mom in the world. I have had the opportunity to love the prettiest, funniest, sassiest girl I've ever known. I have a husband who I absolutely adore who makes me feel so special every day and a dog that at the very least always alerts me to visitors at the door and makes sure the contents of my diaper bag are safe.

God has given me the most perfect little life, but it's only perfect because of the people he has allowed me to share it with. I hope I give them some clue of how grateful I am to get to love them and be loved by them every day.

Mothers

Today is the 30th Mother's Day of my life. I haven't always thought much about it as I speak to my mother nearly 7 days a week. She knows that I love her and appreciate her. I try to make it a point to let her know this the other 364 days as well. However, this being my 1st Mother's Day as a parent, it has given me reason to pause and really consider what being a mother means. I've pulled from the examples set forth by several mothers that are important in my life... my sister, my mother, my wife, my aunt, and a host of others.

A mother cares for you before she ever even meets you.

A mother can make any boo boo better with a kiss.

A mother sets the standard for all the women in your life.

A mother is strong enough to raise a family alone after her husband passes away.

A mother is soft enough to convince you that it will inevitably be alright.

A mother inspires you to be the person she always thought you were.

A mother puts herself through school against the odds to provide a better life for her child.

A mother believes you are innocent until proven guilty....and if proven guilty, believes there must be a mistake. They just don't know her baby like she does.

A mother knows the exact remedy when you are sick, regardless of ailment.

A mother works manual labor jobs because that's what it takes to feed her family.

A mother made the choice to bring you into this world and as I've heard in the past, reserves the right to take you out.

A mother loves you as much, if not more, on your worst day as she does in your finest hour.

A mother was once a teenage girl...and occasionally, she gives you a glimpse into her youthful days.

A mother will one day be your grandmother's age...and occasionally, she gives you a glimpse into the woman she said she'd never become.

A mother tries harder than you will ever know or fully be able to appreciate.

A mother deserves more than she will ever get in return for her efforts.

A mother can never be told too often how much you love them. So, go ahead and let yours know.

Friday, May 8, 2009

A day in the life

Tick.

Alarm.

Tock.

Say Good Morning to Meggan.

Tick.

Drag out of bed.

Tock.

Brush teeth.

Tick.

Shower.

Tock.

Head to work.

Tick.

Meet the girls for lunch.

Tock.

Back to work.

Tick.

Home for dinner.

Tock.

Bath time for Amelia.

Tick.

Insert Lullaby CD.

Tock.

Bedtime for Mia.

Tick.

Spend time with Meg.

Tock.

Let Sophie out to potty.

Tick.

Head upstairs.

Tock.

Shower.

Tick.

Brush Teeth.

Tock.

Crawl into bed.

Tick.

Sleep.

Tock.

Alarm .....


like clockwork.

If you want a routine for the baby, you need a routine for yourself...and believe me, you want a routine for the baby.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

America's Most Wanted


Crime Scene: Entry of house

Crime(s): Vandalism, Destruction of Property, Breaking and Entering, Theft, Criminal Mischief, Generally eating diaper bag items that do not belong to her

Estimated Value of Damage: Trust is Priceless

Primary Suspect: Sophie

Mug Shot:




Suspected Motive: Jealousy, Boredom

Possible Sentencing: Minimum: Chew toy suspension ; Maximum: two night boarding in the dog pokey.

Defendant's argument: All evidence is circumstantial. Claims this is some form of racial, inter-species profiling

Plaintiff's argument: Prior history of chewing pacifiers; beard fur found at the scene.


We are asking that any eyewitnesses come forward so that no more diaper bags have to suffer. Any tips, please e-mail:

givemeabreak@whyinthehellwouldyoupulleveryitemoutofadiaperbaganddragitacrossthefloor.com

Saturday, May 2, 2009

History is made

It took 9 weeks and 5 days, but I finally did it. I wasn't sure it was ever going to happen. What is this grand accomplishment? Tonight, I finally found something that Meggan was afraid/didn't want to do with Amelia that I took care of...trimming Amelia's nails. Meggan has about 150 of these things over me so far. She knocks out most dirty diapers, nose suctioning, and thermometers in the nether region. So, imagine my surprise when Meg had no interest in getting anywhere near the nail trimmers. I was excited because this was something I could do. I mean, how hard could it be to trim some fingernails? That was BEFORE I went to clip them. Holy crap, those are tiny nails and let's just say Amelia didn't voluntarily order the manicure at Salon-de-dad. She was very content to keep her hands in constant motion while balling up her fists. I'm not sure how it looked, but I'd say a good visual representation would be the scene in Karate Kid where Daniel-son is trying to catch flies with chopsticks...if chopsticks were blades, he loved the flies, and was desperately trying not to hurt them. In the end, we were able to get the job done without incident. And, I have finally found the one time where dad stepped up while mom watched.

Good Samaritan

This is the dialogue from an encounter I had the other day while bringing the stroller into the mall to meet Meggan and Amelia.

Lady outside Barnes and Noble: (fairly serious tone) Sir, do you realize there is no baby in there?
Me: Yes, I left her here last night and am now coming to pick her up.
Lady: (look of slight distaste for my humor)
Me: I'm kidding. I just find this thing so much easier to push without her in it.
Lady: (looking as if her day was better before she met me)
Me: I'm sorry. I'm going in to meet her and her mother.
Lady: (walks away looking as if I have forever stained her desire to help people)


So, in the end I felt a little bad for being sarcastic with her. Plus, I suppose I CAN see a situation where, in a hurry, you could accidentally head inside forgetting to actually get your baby out of the car. If that situation ever comes and I walk past this particular woman again, I'll be the sorry boy who cried wolf. That said, I'll take my chances that I won't forget Mia in the car. I mean, what kind of dad does that?!? What's that you say? The same kind of dad that drops her on her head??? Oh no.