April 15th? No Thanks

Meggan and I just completed our tax returns...a task feared by many, but generally a time of rejoicing for us. So, we marched up to the computer with all the smiles of a kid on Christmas morning...only to find out we owe money. For those of you wondering, yes, I did contemplate claiming Sophie as a dependent. The only way I can describe this disappointment is to say it was like leaning in for all the joy of a first kiss only to find out the other person had just smoked a cigarette while eating Doritos and peanut butter. Mmmm tasty.

A very good day

This weekend finally brought great weather after a relatively cold winter. I'm sure it will pass as quickly as it came, so we decided to take full advantage of it and had a great weekend day. Here is a relaxed, lazy man's listing of photos from the weekend (lazy because there is no cropping, framing, slide shows, etc. Relaxed because I don't care :) )...

How to have a great day -

Find a friend to do some very important coloring with...


Get said friend to play in tent with you instead of your dad...


Get outside and enjoy the weather...


Break bread with a friend or two...


Take one of your classic walks alone with no parents in sight...


Finish off with a slice of pizza the size of your head...

Bag Lady

While I hope we never find Mia roaming the streets with a shopping cart full of her worldly possessions, at least now I know she'll do it in style...

(vaguely pictured in cart: Elmo doll riding in the baby seat and her purse, where she likely keeps her smokes)

whatsat?

Amelia has started a new thing recently that really, really took shape today. I suppose all kids come to an age where they get overly inquisitive. Well, she's there. What started as an occasional mumbling of whatsat (Mia slang for What is that?) became a response to any and every thing she saw on our way home from dinner tonight. I must have said "that's a car, baby","yep, another car", "a car", "caaaaarrrrr" at least 620 times. While I'm very happy she is talking more and more and I'm certain this is the first of many of these types of things, I can't wait until I have literally alerted her to the identity of every item in the world.

Allergies

This is what an allergy test looks like on a 2 year old...



Those spots are all the various tests they ran on Amelia today. Luckily, she was found not to be allergic to anything. On as side note, Sophie told me she was really excited to hear that Amelia wasn't allergic to her. She said it broke her little puppy heart to imagine us packing up all of Amelia's things and getting rid of her.

Hmmmm

Amelia has recently taken to 3 things that I find a little disturbing....

1) started calling me "Daddykins"

2) started finding it hilarious to beat the crap out of Sophie

3) could not get enough of watching a video online of a baby farting in its bath water

I'd be just fine if all 3 of these phases passed.

Baby Bumblebee

Meggan made it home safely from Chicago tonight. I couldn't be happier to see her. I mean, sure, for all those mushy reasons I should say. However, I am really just happy that she is here to take Amelia to school so I don't have to hear "I'm picking up a baby bumblebee..." another time. That song is 2 minutes and 25 seconds long. Amelia and I have been in the car roughly 3 hours the last 3 days with it on constant repeat. That means I have heard that song almost 75 times since Meggan left. I'm almost surprised I haven't gone crazy by now.

Annual Review

Employee: Sophie
Position: Chief Security Officer
Review Period: 1/1/2010 - 12/31/2010
Manager: Me


Accountability
Maintain an intruder free environment

Employee Feedback: Throughout the year, I have thwarted countless attacks upon the premises. Luckily, I have been able to use my deep, authoritative voice to deter trespassers without violence.

Manager Feedback: On a scale of 1-10, I give a 1.5 as a security guard and a 15 as a noisemaker. To date, I count her "threatening targets" as 14 pizza delivery drivers, 6 UPS workers, 4 magazine salesmen, 3 neighbors, and countless strong breezes. Also, the only things Sophie has attacked in her life are inanimate objects...and me.

Accountability
Perform duties of the job while creating minimal disturbance for the family

Employee Feedback: In my career, I have often been asked if I trained as a ninja. Surely, this is partially due to my extreme fighting skills. However, it is largely in relation to my ability to simply disappear into the background. I only use my aforementioned voice in cases of imminent danger.

Manager Feedback: Sophie would be less annoying if she were a Tickle Me Elmo doll with Fran Drescher's voice. Aside from the barking mentioned in Accountability 1, her nails hit the hardwoods as if she is wearing tap shoes. Additionally, any time she stands up from any of her 17 daily naps, she feels the immediate urge to flap her ears from side to side in such a way that the sound perfectly finds its way to Amelia's peacefully sleeping ears to wake her. Not Awesome.

Accountability
Maintain a hygienically clean standard of living

Employee Feedback: I can't stress my cleanliness enough...You could eat off my nub. In addition to keeping myself clean, I sacrifice my very sensitive palate in keeping the floors clear of any debris.

Manager Feedback: Five words - rabbit turd diet, puppy farts. Additionally, the recent winter storm brought light to one very important observation...Sophie's previously-thought-to-be-white fur looked like a moving chunk of yellow snow.

Overview

Employee Feedback: If they perfect cloning while I am still in my youth, the world will be a safer place. There should be a Sophie in every home. I recommend myself for a 15% raise.

Manager Feedback: It's probably a good thing you basically can't find another Jack-a-Poo on the planet. All the hyperness of a Jack Russell mixed with all the shaking anxiety of a poodle is not exactly a match made in Heaven. As a pet and part of this family, I love her to death. However, as Chief Security Officer, the only thing she "secures" is her spot on her favorite couch cushion. I recommend her for a 0% raise, with a firm promise to "drop" a piece of bacon her way from time to time.

Tent City

These pictures can mean only 1 of 2 things ... either Amelia and I decided to go all Bin Laden on everyone and start hiding in secret locations ....ORRRR, Meggan had to go to Chicago so we are back to partying in the tent.

Paying the price of being tickled to enter the tent...



Suuuurrre, it's easy to be this happy when you're small enough to be in the tent AND be comfortable...



Our view through the window...

Get Well

While Mia was at home missing all of her friends, apparently, they were at school returning the sentiment...

Review

Today, I had to turn in my Annual Review for work as well as go over the reviews of my staff members. Then, I went to daycare and Mia came home with her review (mastered mostly all the skills). So, I figured since the theme of the day seems to be reviews, I should go ahead and admit that I did a poor, poor job in one area as a dad tonight. I'm ashamed to admit it, but here is the menu from Mia's dinner tonight:

- Hot Dog
- Macaroni and Cheese
- Cool Ranch Doritos
- Cookies

Triumphant Return

Tonight, Miss Amelia made her triumphant return to society. Now, she's still not feeling great and is not quite ready to reestablish her reign as Queen of the Classroom. However, she could deny her public no longer....

Fat man in a little tent

If you haven't repeatedly squeezed your 34" tail through a 36" tunnel so you could cram yourself into a tent just to yell out "ANYONE WHO ENTERS THIS TENT SHALL BE MERCILESSLY TICKLED" and then follow through with your threats....you haven't successfully completed a full Daddy/Daughter Quarantine Day.

Mia couldn't go to school because daycare is a supernatural germ haven. So, I stayed home with her and tried to make the best of it. While I did hit many speed bumps today in trying to keep her occupied, the tent was a major success. My only wish is that either A) it was bigger, B) I was smaller, or C)Amelia didn't make me sit in it so we could watch an entire episode of Elmo's World through the side window.

Early Bird Special

Well, I turned 32 the other day and had a brief moment where I felt a little old. However, today I really went over the hill...Meggan and I had dinner...at 5:00...at IHOP...and the waitress offered to let me slip by the rules and order off the 55 and older menu.

Keep on cookin'

Croup? Check

Taking 3 different steroids? Check

Coughed so hard blood vessels burst? Check

Darth Vader breathing imitation? Check

Does this stop you from cooking your father a delicious, plastic potato chip while wearing your sunglasses and a $2 glove as an oven mitt? Uhhh, NO ...

Early Birthday

Tomorrow may be my official birthday, but I was given an early present today .... Amelia has gotten another case of Croup. Yaaaaay!!! Painful coughing bouts all night long with nothing I can do about it but hold her and feel sorry for her. That...is....awesome. If I could get a real birthday wish - I would give anything to switch places with her.

Couldn't be more thankful

I read this article today. When I got home tonight, I could not have been more happy to see my baby girl. As I rocked her to sleep tonight, and went to put her in her crib, it was tough for me to let her go. I have loved her as hard as I could every day of her life. But, sometimes, special reminders like this article, can really impact your perspective.

Dance Party

Being trapped home in the snow wasn't all bad. We have now developed a fun activity where we yell out "Dance Party", turn on music, and let Mia entertain us.... (sorry about the lighting)






As proof that she is a natural, I'd like to point out that for tonight's Dance Party, she put on one glove (albeit backwards and on the wrong hand) to give a shout out to Michael Jackson...

Frosty Paws

What happens when snow/sleet freeze solid overnight? You get an ice skating rink in your yard that makes your dog look like Bambi learning how to walk...

Lone Wolf

I'm starting to think Amelia just may not be that interested in hanging out with us...sand, city, and now snow...

Snow Fight

Ready for Spring

I just got home from the store picking up some last minute items in preparation for any ice and/or snow storms that come through the area. Now, this may seem silly to some people, but you have to keep in mind I am not from a place where it snows...at all. So, any time they say it MIGHT snow, I probably go a little overboard. For instance, Meggan basically had to talk me out of going to buy a generator tonight. In lieu of a generator, I have decided to pray my hardest that we do not lose power. I already get skittish enough when I am stuck in the house due to ice. I am not sure I can handle being stuck in the house...with Amelia...with no power. While I love her with all of my heart, let's just say she is not going to understand when I try to explain to her why we can't watch Elmo. So, here's to hoping this winter storm is over hyped and all we get out of it is a day off work and some fun in the snow.

Rub it in

My daughter now officially has so much hair, and it is so long, that it requires a blow dryer after bath time. I now have so little hair left that it is more important for me to use sunscreen than shampoo on my scalp. This is all made even better when considering while she may be a hairy little gremlin, she is still just as afraid of blow dryers as any other kid who hasn't even turned 2.

Can't tell for sure...

When I got to the tub tonight to give Mia a bath I came across a horrific scene. Now, I can't be sure if this is because of Mia's new bathtub crayons or if Sophie killed someone in the bathroom today and buried them in the back yard...

Two quick thoughts

Since I am tired from Mia keeping us up all night last night, I will just leave you with two out of context quotes from a conversation I had at work today (I think they are applicable to all people)

1)Directionless is a direction

2)If you always qualify your accomplishments with the crutch "considering where I came from", you'll only be successful relative to those surroundings.

Dada has left the building

This past weekend, I wrote about Mia growing from a baby into a little kid. I thought perhaps this was mostly going to be noticed while on our trip because she was "hanging with the big kids". I figured once we got back home and into our normal routine she would settle back into her baby ways. Well, she had a surprise for me. Now, not only has she not gone back to being my little baby girl, but she has decided to stop calling me Dada. I am now officially "Daddy". I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to most of you and daddy is a pretty standard term. However, to me, it sounds completely different. It sounds so mature. I think somewhere in there I like it, but not completely. That said, it's probably going to be worse when she is a teenager and decides she is now grown enough to call me "Randall".

Christmas, Part 3

Upgrade

Mia's Uncle Jay used his camera, which is about 400 levels nicer than our camera, to take some pictures for us this weekend. I have a feeling this little demonstration is going to cost me a lot of money.