A fungus among us?

We had our house inspected for mold tonight. I'm not concerned about it, but we felt we owed it to Amelia to explore all possible reasons for her recurring illnesses. I haven't gotten the results yet, but I do know he was able to find some green stuff in my dining room... Luckily, he was able to get rid of all of it... Unluckily, that particular green stuff was all of my money.

Babysitter

Amelia has decided that not only does she no longer have to go to daycare, but she is actually ready to take on babysitting a few children herself. Here, she is practicing her diapering skills on Bolt and Mittens.

Change is Good?

As I was sitting at my desk today thinking about Meggan, Amelia, work, life, etc. I came to the realization that in many cases there is a bitter irony between the relationship of being a father and a husband. The irony lies in the fact that some people will have to change the type of husband they are in order to become the type of father they need to be. Now, this certainly isn't the case for everyone. I would even say it isn't really the case for me. That said, I am at a stage of life where the majority of the people I know are either starting a family or are squarely entrenched in parenthood. So, this is a situation I may see in action.

My view of marriage and the obligations that come with it is probably slightly different from most. I know several people feel marriage comes with a great responsibility to your spouse. I actually feel like dating comes with all the responsibility. First, there is the responsibility to be honest with the people you date. And secondly, there is the responsibility to be honest with yourself in terms of what you want out of a spouse. If you do both of those things while finding a compatible mate, the marriage is easy. To illustrate this, I will use my own courtship of Meggan. I essentially said "I'm not great looking, don't make a lot of money, am far closer to nerdy than cool, but I'm persistent, fairly pleasant most of the time, and am willing to stalk you if I have to." and she basically went with "I'm very pretty, predominantly out of your league in every way, but I'm feeling generous and you didn't turn up on the sexual offender registry. So, ehhh, you'll do." ... I'm paraphrasing a bit, but as you can see, honesty is what made us the happy couple we are today. Since we were honest in the beginning, we never had to change to keep the marriage great. All we have to do is act like ourselves and all is well.

Acting like ourselves brings me to my original point in the post - what happens to people whose marital style doesn't gel with their parental style. Luckily, in my case, Meggan and Amelia seem to want the same thing from me... to let them watch what they want on TV, to kill all the bugs, and to bake them cookies occasionally. So, I haven't had to make any alterations and my house is a happy home. However, I am genuinely intrigued by the wild party animals or world adventurers that have to settle down and stay home because they Baby Bjorn doesn't fit under the bungee harness. What happens to the aspiring nightclub DJ who has to switch to a day job because well, no kid deserves the embarrassment of having an aspiring nightclub DJ as a dad? The biker who can't jam the car seat in his sidecar? You get the point. What happens to these guys and more importantly, how do the changes they have to make affect their marriage? I would assume they lose a big portion of their identity and the identity their spouse fell in love with. To put it in perspective, I'm not sure Meggan would view me the same way if I came home with "Amelia" tattooed on my neck. That's just not the guy she signed up for. I would imagine this phenomenon is partially offset by the credit given for him actually being a good father. I'm just not sure, as with anything in life, you can serve two distinct masters at once. Thus, I could see a situation where being a good father makes you a bad husband...and that just doesn't seem right.

Thank You Very Little

Ahhh, daycare - The place to which credit is due for many of Amelia's sayings, songs, and antics. Meggan and I try our hardest to be good parents. We read with Amelia on a daily basis. We are in no way strangers to puzzles or children's songs. However, it seems like she comes home with a new trick or fun fact to share with us each and every day. I remember the day she came home doing the hokey pokey like it was yesterday. I get filled with fatherly pride when I think of her counting to 10 in spanish - again, courtesy of daycare. However, today, I want to extend a very special thank you to the person, or more than likely, 2 year-old person, for teaching Amelia her latest lesson. Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I don't know how I would have made it through life without my daughter referring to her rear end as a "poophole". So, yeah, now that we have added that to our vocabulary, I really think it is all downhill from here.

Bossypants

Here are two quotes from Amelia today...

(As she sternly grabs her Bolt doll by his snout) "Bolt, listen... listen to me! Have you seen my tencher (her attempt at saying temperature, a.k.a. thermometer) anywhere? Huh?"

(As she storms across the living room with her baby doll) "You going to timeout, Baby! You no have your listening ears on!"

I have an idea...

My computer is being worked on this weekend, so I have to post using the touch screen of an Ipad...which is no fun at all. So, this post will be short, but I wanted to share a few random Amelia notes....

In terms of her health, it appears the doctors feel the only solution is ear and adenoid surgery.

Speaking of tragic news, Amelia got a balloon for being a big girl at the doctor yesterday. Well, it was struggling a bit so we decided to let it "fly home to it's mommy and daddy" . Amelia was fairly on board with this, went outside, let it go, and waved goodbye....and for the rest of the day has cried for her balloon. I'm pretty sure she is still waiting on it to come back.

Speaking of crying, Amelia went around the house for a while today dramatically crying (on the brink of tears) and saying she "fell off wall and broke her crown". This means one of two things has to happen...either she has to stop watching this lame Humpty-Dumpty Youtube video she loves to emulate or we need to go ahead and enroll her in acting classes. (and before anyone gets concerned - no, she didn't fall in any way and no, she was not actually hurting)

Speaking of copying what she sees, one of Amelia's new favorite things to do is to stop quickly and say " Hey guys, I have an idea! Hold on..." the only problem is she doesn't have an idea. She just stands there or walks away after saying it. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even have an idea of what she is really saying. However, she says it so convincingly that I will continue to be lured into her web of false hope until the day actually finishes the sentence with an idea.

Speaking of not finishing something, I got exactly two strips into mowing my front lawn today before smoke and oil began coming out of my lawnmower. I would have preferred this happen before the two strips. Now my lawn is the equivalent of someone who has left their hair long and cut only a noticeable portion of their bangs.

Speaking of smoke, I got a smoker for Father's Day and I am going to attempt to use it tomorrow (after all, I won't be busy mowing the lawn). While I am very excited about the possibilities, I am not sure I have the patience for a cooking process that slow or that long.

Speaking of patience, the friend I had the screenplay/mission trip bet with is currently sitting on a loooooong 17 hour flight to Africa. Please keep him in your prayers. If I had to take a 17 hour flight, I'd likely attempt to chew through the exit door and escape...I considered that 17 minutes into my last flight...and we were still on the Tarmac at the time.

Speaking of long, I guess this post ended up not being so short after all.

Prayers, Positive Thoughts, Whatever you have

I received the following e-mail from one of my best friends this morning...

"Found out today that my mom's uterus cancer returned and metastasized and is in her lymph nodes. Prognosis is allegedly 1 year and chemo starts next thurs."

So, when you look around at your family or think of your loved ones, appreciate every moment you have with them because it can change in an instant. I know I hugged Meggan and Amelia a little tighter when I got home today and I can't wait to see my own mom very soon.

As for my friend, please send any prayers and positive thoughts you can spare their way.

Thanks.

Attention Shoppers

Not only shopping on her own, but shopping healthy...

Victory

I am currently in a food coma after collecting on my screenplay vs. mission trip bet.

Smoked Chicken Wing Appetizer - $10

Filet Mignon -$30

Cocktails - $30

Creme Brulee Cheesecake - $10

The Sweet Joy of Victory - Priceless

An Answer

Between Thursday and Friday, Amelia has appointments with an asthma/allergy specialist, a Pulmonologist, and very highly regarded Otolaryngologist. If none of these three men have an answer for why she coughs uncontrollably for days on end, we will pretty much be down to witchdoctors, Ouija boards, and the board game Operation for answers

Sing a little song

I'm not absolutely certain, but I think there is a pretty good chance she is singing this song about me. (sorry the video is fuzzy, but I had to record it without her knowledge or express written consent)

What a gift!

For Father's Day, I received a wonderful, wonderful gift ... an uncontrollable, constant, barking cough for Amelia. Ahhh, thank you universe, thank you!

Father's Day

Well, tomorrow is my 3rd Father's Day and I have to admit they keep getting better each time. Since my father died when I was 6, Father's Day never really held any positive connotations to me. However, now that I have a bright-eyed baby girl of my own, it has become one of my favorite holidays.

Now, some people would say that is because it is all about me. Well, those people don't know me or else they'd know I barely even recognize my own birthday. It has nothing to do with it being about me. I love it because it is recognition of me AND Amelia...I can't be a father without the help of the daughter.

While I do love the holiday, one thing I will say is that I don't really feel fathers need a whole day to commend them for all they do. If it takes a day to celebrate what mothers do for their kids...fathers should get about 30 minutes. So, if we were being fair, it really should be Happy Father's Brunch. I'm not trying to discredit the importance of all the dads out there. I' simply pointing out that what we do, is not the tough stuff.

Mom's main responsibilities -
Give birth
Breastfeed
Find appropriate daycare
Schedule doctor appointments
Attend doctor appointments
Actually know the answers to some of the questions doctor asks
Administer all medicine
Deal with all threat level red tummy troubles
Ensure teeth are brushed ....EVERY day
Know when diapers, wipes, etc. are running low
Make booboos feel better
Enforce nap time, bed time, and bath time
Make sure dinner involves more items than meat and cookies
Pretty much do all things that allow for a child to grow up healthy and happy

Dad's list of responsibilities -
Don't pass out during delivery
Try not to confuse breast milk with your milk when pouring cereal
Carry child on shoulders when they are tired and/or want to have fun
Tickle, chase, and play with child
Don't let child miss soooo many meals, baths, or teeth brushings that they either look or smell like a homeless man or a billy goat
Don't endanger child's life for the sake of entertainment
Keep all local ice cream establishments in business
Kill bugs
Teach child all the best cartoons
Teach child to say "Sophie eats doodoo"
Teach child WHEN it is okay to say "Sophie eats doodoo"
Pretty much do all things that allow for a child to grow up thinking you are the coolest person alive

So, yeah, fathers are basically larger, slightly less hairy versions of golden retrievers.

Sheee's Baaaack

This is the look of a little girl who missed Crazy Sock Day on Tuesday, Ice Cream Truck Day on Wednesday, and was NOT going to miss Sprinkler Day at school on Thursday.



Unfortunately, that same little girl came home with a NEW flare up of "Pink in her eye" in her other eye. So, she will now be missing Doughnuts with Daddy Day tomorrow.

Brown Bear

Lunch Conversation

Here is a transcript of my lunch conversation with Amelia...

Me: Did you go to the doctor?

Amelia: Uh huh

Me: Did they look in your ears?

Amelia: Uh huh

Me: What did they say?!?

Amelia: No bunnies (her doctor always checks for bunnies)

Me: That's great! Did they take your temperature?

Amelia: No take my blood pressure (a weird fear of hers)

Me: They didn't take your blood pressure? That's good. Did they take your temperature?

Amelia: Yeah

Me: And what did they say?

Amelia: BEEEEP (mimicking a thermometer)

Me: Beeeep...And then did they look in your eyes?

Amelia: Uh huh

Me: What did the tell you?

Amelia: I have pink in my eye

Me: Damn.

The Long and Short of It

As I was sitting on the couch tonight thinking back on some of Amelia's antics from the day, I came across a great quote about parenting that made me reassess my views. The quote was "the days are long, but the years are short". Now, this is probably a famous quote that everyone but me has heard. For all I know, it is on coffee mugs, t-shirts, and minivan bumper stickers around the globe. That said, tonight was the first time I had heard it and I actually sort of needed it. I hate saying that because I feel like I am bashing my daughter. Trust me, I'm not. She's awesome. She's my favorite human on this planet. However, for the last 2 months or so, she has decided to continually test all boundaries and I'm pretty sure if we crack, she'll use that leverage to take over the house. So, yes, I'm viewing this like the hierarchy of the mafia. If I don't rule with an iron fist, either Amelia or Sophie will take over the family.

A good example of this from tonight was when she kicked at me and I asked her not to kick me or else I would have to put her in Time Out. I walked a few steps away to give her ample opportunity to do the right thing. Unfortunately, in her opinion, the "right thing" was to walk up next to me and kick me in the leg...now, I'd say maybe I was being hypersensitive and she wasn't really trying to kick me...other than the fact that she is still uncoordinated so it took her 4 tries to actually land the kick...off to Time Out we went ...Yep, an iron fist.

So, when I say I needed that quote tonight what I mean is it just reminded me to really savor every moment with Amelia no matter how she is acting. Yeah, she actually stood up and spit over the back of the booth unbeknownst to the people sitting there the other day ...that's okay, the years are short. Sure, she took her fork and scratched our new dining room table ...no problem, the years are short after all. Of course, the inside of the door on our 1 year old car is now colored all the colors of the rainbow... who cares?, the years are short....right? Hmmm, maybe that quote isn't so great after all.

Won't Be Long...

As I was driving around today, I heard a song I hadn't heard or really thought about in a few years. While I know Amelia is only 2 years old, I couldn't help but think that I will be living this song FAAAARRR sooner than I want to be...and as country as it may be, I will be living this song...or paying someone more intimidating than me to do it...

I feel very secure

I stopped by my house today around lunch to find some teenager walking out from the side of my house. Now, I have no idea what he was doing there or if he was actually coming from the neighbor's back yard. We all have fences, so I can't figure out why he would be cutting through. I asked him if he needed something and gave him my scariest staredown...and what burglar wouldn't wet their pants at the sight of a pasty white office worker pulling up in his Toyota Corolla?!? He said said 'no' and kept walking up the street...which is just as well because I really didn't want to fight anyone today. I mean, it's really hot outside right now and I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle the last time I bent over to tie my shoes. So, you could say I'm not really in fightin' shape. Luckily, I wasn't worried this whole time because I knew if anything went down I had my Chief Security Officer on duty. I figured Sophie was on the brink of chewing through the door to get outside and attack any intruders. So, I went in the house to try to calm her down before anything bad happened. That is where I saw Sophie hard at work protecting the place...



...Or I found her taking a nap. Yeeeeeahhh, so knowing Sophie is on the case, I now pretty safe if the guy ever comes back.

Wild Kingdom ...Again

This was the scene in the hanging plants on our porch yesterday morning...



And here was the scene this morning...



I not an expert at reading bird lips, but I'm pretty sure he said "Yep, for the second year in a row, we ruined your plants by making it impossible for you to water them in good conscience. Also, do you think Amelia would share her fruit loops with me?"

It was time

Ever since Mia began putting words together to form sentences, she has started to develop a little bit of an attitude. According to her, she gets to do what she wants when she wants to do it. Additionally according to her, the appropriate response to every request from your father is "No". If you couple these facts with her new career career as a physician (she actually referred to herself as Dr. Mimi today), it only made sense for her to move out on her own. Her first pad is not a mansion, but it is close to home, so she can stop by to do her laundry from time to time...

Yellow Boots

Admit it...if you could rock yellow boots this hard, you'd do it as well...

Dr. Amelia

In what will be the first step to Amelia's long, lucrative career in medicine, we got her a doctor's kit. Now, the good thing is she has used it to take very good care of us. The bad news is that she has been to the doctor so many times in her 2 years, that she knows the entire routine by heart...she checked our temperatures, our eyes, ears, and noses, she listened to our chests and our backs, and then she gave us medicine. You'll be happy to know we both passed our physicals with flying colors.

Buffet

This is why they invented locks for pantry doors....





...unfortunately, we obviously forgot to use them

Coming or Going?

When I came across Amelia looking like this, she said she had done her own hair to go to school... however, there is a part of me that wonders if she was actually just coming home from a long night of partying instead...