Last day

It was brought to my attention yesterday that it was the last time I was going to be at work as a "non-dad". While I suppose this fact hasn't been hiding too far below the surface, it never really dawned on me how many "lasts" I have had recently. Many of these were minor - my last time watching Lost in peace before the baby comes, the last non-children's movie at the theater for a while, the last time I could go to the gym without any real planning. Others were more significant - Meggan and I have taken our last weekend trip without a diaper bag, I've made my last decision that doesn't have my daughter at the forefront, and thankfully, I've seen the last video of a live birth that I will ever see. The more I think about it, the more powerful the sentiment...my life is changing forever. I can virtually hear the various chapters of my past closing; some faint, others like thunder. As hard as it can be to let go of the things you've grown to love and oftentimes take for granted, any hesitation eases completely when you think of how incredible the future will be. So, sure I have had many lasts throughout this pregnancy, but I am so gratefully eager to focus on all the FIRSTS that are coming my way. This week will be the first time I go to work bursting with pride as I show off pictures of my new baby. This week I will drive my car for the first time carrying the most precious cargo I will ever know. This week, for the first time, I will kiss my daughter's forehead as I wish her goodnight. This week will be the first time I get to watch Amelia sleep as I ask God if he will please be with me and help guide me as a father. This week, I will see the precious angel He's given me and realize that He's already here.