Interrogation

Mia: Sophie, do you have any idea why there are 4 crayon wrappers chewed up on the floor with no crayons in sight?

Sophie: Honestly, Baby, I really have no idea.

Mia: Sooo, what you are telling me is the crayons were fine when I left this morning, you were home all day by yourself, and now the crayons have been devoured ...all without you knowing anything?

Sophie: Pretty spooky, huh? I guess I slept through the robbery.

Mia: Oh, so NOW, it was a robbery?!? Well, good Lord, maybe we should call the police?

Sophie: I really don't think we need to alert any authorities. I'll keep a better eye out tomorrow.

Mia: No, you know. I think we probably should call the cops. I mean, if YOU didn't do anything, I don't see a problem. Unless of course you are lying...then, you'll probably get the electric chair.

Sophie: The electric chair?!? Really? Uhh, that sounds a little harsh for eating a few crayons.

Mia: Oh, it's not for that. It's just a state law regarding lying to babies. There's a zero tolerance electric chair mandate. But, like we covered, you don't have aaannnyything to worry about, right?

Sophie: No. But, just out of curiosity, what if I wasn't lying? What if I just forgot? Or maybe I was sleep-eating or somebody slipped me something that made me go crazy?

Mia: Hmmm, man, I really don't know. I think the rule is pretty straightforward...you lie...you die.

Sophie: Even if you are a cute puppy?

Mia: Not sure, but let's not get off topic. We aren't talking about a cute puppy, we are talking about you...and you're like one evolutionary step away from a Gremlin. So, they won't think twice about flipping the switch.

Sophie: Okay, okay. I ate your crayons. I just get so jealous of all the attention you give them. Plus, if I'm being honest, the multi-colored poo cracks me up. So, there you have it. The truth. Put that in your electric chair!

Mia: Well, I'm not sure how to put this, but we now have you saying you didn't eat them AND that you did eat them. So, yes, technically you told the truth...but, that means the other time you lied. Sooo, either way, I'm going to have to turn you in.

Sophie: Baby, I want to drop an F-bomb on you so badly right now...

Mia: I wouldn't do that if I were you. Unfortunately, they are even harder on that than the lying.

Sophie: REALLY?!? You lie to and curse at me all the time....what protection does a dog have??

Mia: Nothing at all... Cruel world ain't it,Jackass?