Dedication

I have always been much more passionate about my relationship with Christ than I have about my relationship with religion. While I have never wavered in my beliefs or my faith, growing up I did not often find myself in church on Sundays. Actually, I give Meggan complete credit for the marriage of faith and church in my life. Over the course of our relationship, our trips to Sunday service have become some of my favorite times and have acted as strengthening pillars of our lives. However, this past Easter weekend, I had my most powerful experience at church and my eyes were opened to the true beauty of fellowship. On Sunday, we had a dedication ceremony for Amelia. It was an unbelievable feeling to see Mia in her pink church dress, surrounded by friends and family, being loved and accepted by the entire congregation. I was really struck by the fact that there were people in the crowd, from young women to grown men, who were moved to tears during this ceremony. Perhaps it was the meaning of the ceremony. Perhaps it was their love of Meggan and the woman and mother she has become. Either way, it was one of the purest showings of fellowship I have witnessed. I have only been to this particular church on a handful of occasions. However, each and every time, I could feel the sense of belonging and the overriding acceptance of anyone who is willing to walk through its doors. For this, I want to say thank you for allowing me the experience of having my daughter's dedication amid such a loving, caring church family.

Baby for Sale - Amendment

Me again. Well, as it turns out, it is apparently NOT legal to sell your babies. I'm not sure who makes the laws in this country, but I find the double standard a tragedy. Somehow, it is perfectly okay to sell a dog, but not a baby?!? Frankly, I find babies very overrated anyways. Everyone says "oooh, she was born with so much hair on her head"...big frickin' deal people. I was born with hair from my head to my nubby...top that, baby. All she does is eat, sleep, and poop. Let's see, which of those I can muster up the genius to do? Check, check, and check. I'd like to see her try to protect this family from the rabbit that creeps into the back yard! How about singlehandedly keeping the litter box free of poo? Can she can hear a crumb hit the floor from 15 feet and lick it up while observing the 5 second rule? I don't think so! All she can do is sit around and suck on a pacifier - which doesn't even taste good (I would know as I have eaten 3 of them). So, armed with my newly found knowledge of the legal system, I have decided to take a different route.

For Sale:
One really awesome Jack-a-Poo known as '10 pounds of furry fury'. All I can say for myself is that I am way better than any damn baby and would be a great addition to any home. Of course, a specimen of my level is not free. I will require a lifestyle at least as good as the deprived one I have here. This means a minimum of 400 thread count sheets, an unlimited supply of rawhide bones, samples of all meat my master is eating, belly rubs any time I want them, several time periods of playtime per day, a house with no attention stealing babies or cats, a new toy every time I destroy an old toy, and an occasional Frosty Paw ice cream treat on a hot day. If you feel you can provide this, contact me at: sophieplaysseconfiddletonobody@babiesstink.com

Baby For Sale

For Sale:
One tiny baby - Slightly used. This model comes with all the 2009 upgrades! Owners would love to keep her, but unfortunately they already had a full house. She is perfect for early risers and night owls...and particularly great for people who don't need sleep at all! Listen up all you workout warriors, this is the chance of a lifetime. Imagine how great your arms will look after you carry around this adorable 10 lb weight all day. The exercises are limitless - there's the Carrier Curl for those biceps, the Crib Lift for your back and core, and your rump will be like pure granite from going up and down the stairs 100 times a day as whatever you need will inevitably be on the other floor. As if this wasn't enough, you will flip when you find out how easy this baby is to take care of. Not a chef? That's okay! Her diet consists of only one thing - anyone can mix formula. Not a fashion guru? No problem! Act now and I will throw in all her clothes...the pink ones, the other pink ones, and the other other pink ones. Don't have a strong stomach? okay, well, you are on your own on that one. Hey, nobody's perfect. How much could something so great cost? Well, today is your lucky day. If you act now, she can be yours for the bargain basement price of 2 rawhide bones, 1 squeaky basketball, and a bag of Beggin' Strips.

Please send all inquiries to Sophie, the attention starved Jack-a-Poo. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES contact the baby's parents. I look forward to doing business with you.

Sophie B.
Licks and Stogies, Inc.
Charlotte, North Carolina

my heart stopped

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life. In the end, God was looking out for Amelia, or perhaps me, and rescued her from my mistake. However, for a span of a few hours, highlighted by a few seconds that felt like hours, I was filled with a terror I've never known. As I carried Amelia from one room to another in her carrier, something I've done a hundred times in the last month, I made a huge mistake - a mistake a parent can't make. I became nonchalant. During this split second of time in which I wasn't completely focused on my sweet, sleeping angel, the carrier shifted and she was dumped head first onto the hardwood floor. I can't fully express the immediate rush of emotion that came over me. If you are a parent, no explanation is needed. This little girl, who depends on me for love, for nurture, and most importantly for safety, was severely let down. I had not done my job as a father. Last night consisted of a drive to the hospital in which I broke down emotionally, a 2 hour visit in the emergency room where doctors assured me that unless a one in a million event occurs, all will be well, and the subsequent several hours sitting awake in my bed watching Amelia and waiting for that one in a million event. Thankfully, it never happened. On the back end of this mess I can fairly safely say that the whole trauma was over for Amelia about a minute after she hit the ground. However, I can certainly safely say that the images and the memories of last night will never leave me. I know this was truly an accident that led to nothing more than a hospital bill, but for me, it will serve as a reminder to never again let down my guard while dealing with someone so precious.

Moms and Dads

Tonight, we instituted a new bedtime routine for Amelia. As we sat in her dimly lit room, Meggan rocking her to sleep while soft music played in the background, all I could think was "how lucky is this little girl to have a mom like this?" I try to be a good dad. I'm completely in love with my daughter. I fully subscribe to the theory that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It is with pride, not shame, that I say she has me wrapped around her finger. Having said all that, everything I do for her and because of her is minuscule in comparison to what Meggan does. When she is left alone with me, I have two objectives - 1) play with her and have as much fun as we can until one of us barfs. 2) get her to sleep quietly whether that requires food, a pacifier, or prayer (I haven't moved to liquor....yet). Meggan, on the other hand, spends her time learning all the great parenting tips she can. She makes sure we do Tummy Time to strengthen her neck. She knows her feeding schedule and exactly how many ounces she needs. She formulates her bedtime routine and makes sure we take a bath to wash Mia's "milky mouth". All this doesn't even take into account the fact that she actually gave birth and put her lady parts on the line in order to breastfeed. So, essentially, Meggan takes every measure to ensure Amelia the healthiest, greatest life possible while my parental instincts lead me to blowing fart noises on Mia's belly. I may be understating my duties a bit, but the moral remains the same, Meggan is a wonderful mother and Amelia may never fully know how lucky she is.

Daddy Day Care

Well, today Meggan had to go to work, so I got the chance to try my hand at stay at home dad. Let's just say I was a bit apprehensive going into this. It's not that I don't love Amelia. It's that I didn't have the least bit of confidence in my abilities at the small things. Roughly halfway through the day, I have a few observations for any dad out there trying his hand for the first time.

1) It's completely possible to work from home while watching the baby. You just have to be prepared for intermittent breaks for crying, feeding, changing, etc. It's actually less interruption than I normally face in my office.

2) Tummy time is a great way to strengthen the baby's neck and get her tired for her nap. However, I learned a tough one today... tummy time happens BEFORE eating. If you do it afterwards, you apparently have to call it "barf on dad's hand" time.

3) Babies are deceitful when it comes to bathroom breaks. Today, Amelia thought it wise to wait until I had her diaper off to start peeing. Oh, isn't that cute? Also, don't let the sweet face fool you. She is not staring at you lovingly, she is trying to poop.

4) Speaking of poop, don't believe the hype about bicycle kicks. I can tell you from today's personal experience that all doing bicycle kicks for 15 minutes while saying "let's work out that poopie (on a side note, spell check can't find poopie or poopy, but it thanfully was able to find 'Poo Pie'. What in the world is Poo Pie?)" does is make you look like a jackass. Amelia did seem slightly amused, which made it worth it, but 3 hours later, I'm still waiting.

5) Lastly, its not as easy as it looks. I have been guilty at times of saying it is easy to stay home with the baby. So far, I have been peed on, farted on, and spit up on. I did manage a shower, but shaving was out of the question. I think I ate breakfast, but I can't remember anything prior to the last bottle feeding. My hat goes off to all the moms and dads who stay at home with their kids. It is certainly much harder than any day job I've ever had.

Amelia--1 month

Amelia had her one month checkup today with Dr. Gessner. The little girl is doing so well. She weighed 9 pounds 8 ounces and was a bit put out by having to be weighed naked out in the hall. What girl enjoys being weighed, much less without her Elmo panties on?

Mia had also grown an inch and is now 21 inches. The final stat is that her head circumference is 15 inches. In case you don't know, that is in the 70th percentile. In case you are a dummy like me and don't know what that means. (I asked the doctor if that meant that 70% of babies have that size head to which she responded with a "how dumb are you?" look.) That means that 69% of baby girls have a smaller head than Mia! When they handed down that news, she looked at me a little embarrassed. We had a quick talk about that meaning that she has so much brain, she needed more room. Meanwhile, I was thinking that head was more evidence that women deserve that trophy after labor.

So much has happened over the last month. The first couple of weeks were so hard with us getting used to her and vice versa. We also had to let go of our old lives and learn to live around someone else while living on little sleep. Those weeks were filled with fear and uncertainty as we navigated our new routine with no roadmap. "Everyone" was right about two things, and the first was that all the books in the world are no help. Neither of us could remember one thing, and none of those books were there to feed and quiet a baby at 3 a.m.

Over the last several weeks, things have changed from being full of frustration to being full of joy and anticipation for each new day. This proves "everyone" right again when they said that things would get better around 3 weeks. Now, I can't wait for her to wake up every day to see what she will do. When she smiles or falls asleep on my chest or even lets out one of her infamous wails, I'm just enamored with her. So, with that, my Mia is awake and I'm going to see if I can get one of those priceless smiles from her!