Baby For Sale

For Sale:
One tiny baby - Slightly used. This model comes with all the 2009 upgrades! Owners would love to keep her, but unfortunately they already had a full house. She is perfect for early risers and night owls...and particularly great for people who don't need sleep at all! Listen up all you workout warriors, this is the chance of a lifetime. Imagine how great your arms will look after you carry around this adorable 10 lb weight all day. The exercises are limitless - there's the Carrier Curl for those biceps, the Crib Lift for your back and core, and your rump will be like pure granite from going up and down the stairs 100 times a day as whatever you need will inevitably be on the other floor. As if this wasn't enough, you will flip when you find out how easy this baby is to take care of. Not a chef? That's okay! Her diet consists of only one thing - anyone can mix formula. Not a fashion guru? No problem! Act now and I will throw in all her clothes...the pink ones, the other pink ones, and the other other pink ones. Don't have a strong stomach? okay, well, you are on your own on that one. Hey, nobody's perfect. How much could something so great cost? Well, today is your lucky day. If you act now, she can be yours for the bargain basement price of 2 rawhide bones, 1 squeaky basketball, and a bag of Beggin' Strips.

Please send all inquiries to Sophie, the attention starved Jack-a-Poo. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES contact the baby's parents. I look forward to doing business with you.

Sophie B.
Licks and Stogies, Inc.
Charlotte, North Carolina