Me again. Well, as it turns out, it is apparently NOT legal to sell your babies. I'm not sure who makes the laws in this country, but I find the double standard a tragedy. Somehow, it is perfectly okay to sell a dog, but not a baby?!? Frankly, I find babies very overrated anyways. Everyone says "oooh, she was born with so much hair on her head"...big frickin' deal people. I was born with hair from my head to my nubby...top that, baby. All she does is eat, sleep, and poop. Let's see, which of those I can muster up the genius to do? Check, check, and check. I'd like to see her try to protect this family from the rabbit that creeps into the back yard! How about singlehandedly keeping the litter box free of poo? Can she can hear a crumb hit the floor from 15 feet and lick it up while observing the 5 second rule? I don't think so! All she can do is sit around and suck on a pacifier - which doesn't even taste good (I would know as I have eaten 3 of them). So, armed with my newly found knowledge of the legal system, I have decided to take a different route.
For Sale:
One really awesome Jack-a-Poo known as '10 pounds of furry fury'. All I can say for myself is that I am way better than any damn baby and would be a great addition to any home. Of course, a specimen of my level is not free. I will require a lifestyle at least as good as the deprived one I have here. This means a minimum of 400 thread count sheets, an unlimited supply of rawhide bones, samples of all meat my master is eating, belly rubs any time I want them, several time periods of playtime per day, a house with no attention stealing babies or cats, a new toy every time I destroy an old toy, and an occasional Frosty Paw ice cream treat on a hot day. If you feel you can provide this, contact me at: sophieplaysseconfiddletonobody@babiesstink.com
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