Happy Birthday

What kind of impact does a father have on a child? A profound one - either by action or inaction, by availability or invisibility, by nature or nurture. Dads don't have a choice in the matter. Everything they do, everything they are, and the legacy they leave behind will serve as formidable pillars in shaping their children's lives. Perhaps the best example I know is my own dad. Tomorrow is/would be his 72nd birthday. It's hard for me to really grasp that concept as he died 25 years ago at the young age of 47. I was only 5 years old at the time, so my memories of him are few and far between. This reality exactly underscores my point. He was a man I barely ever knew, yet I have loved him every day of my life. I can think of only a few times spent with him, yet I have missed him unendingly for 25 years. I do not recall a single second of celebration during the birthdays or Father's Days during his life, yet every year when those days roll around, I say a special prayer to God thanking him for his life and the subsequent impact he had on mine. I was too young for him to impart any of his ideals, hopes, or dreams on me, yet the first question I asked on my only visit to his grave site as an adult was "Have I made you proud of me?". The one crystal clear memory I have is one that I will carry with me into my days of fatherhood. Late during my dad's battle with cancer he was no longer strong enough to walk all the way to my bus stop. So, he would go as far as he could and wait for me about half way. The magnitude of that effort was beyond my 5-year old comprehension. Now, being a father myself, I finally understand how precious those few moments were. While my dad may not have been doing anything more than trying to see his youngest son while he still could, he was inadvertently teaching me that regardless of the fight at hand, when it comes to your children, sometimes it's worth the effort. It is these lessons, often taught unknowingly, that leave the longest lasting impressions. And these are the lessons dads teach on a daily basis whether or not they want to, mean to, or even know it.