Amelia: Sooo, let me tell you what happened this morning. We left the house very early this morning - I was still in my pajamas, it was dark outside, we went straight to the car and headed out. I was thinking "this could mean only one thing....going on a trip". I was very, very wrong.

Sophie: Didn't you notice they hadn't locked me away in the slammer? That's the first key to a vacation.

Amelia: I figured you were just out on probation since you haven't eaten anything lately.

Sophie: Those bastards would have just set me up if they needed a reason to lock me away...leave a deliciously tempting bottle within reach, a pacifier in my toy bin, or any other Wile E. Coyote trick they could think of. The Man will find a way to hold a good dog down.

Amelia: Okaaaay, nobody asked for that soapbox moment. So, like I said, this was no vacation. They took me in for surgery!

Sophie: Oh, damn! Did they take out your woman parts?!?

Amelia: No! Wait, what?!? Why would they want my woman parts?

Sophie: All I know is I thought I was going on a trip to the dog park once, I ended up in surgery, and I came home sans my lady bits.

Amelia: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But, they didn't go anywhere near mine. They put something in my ears

Sophie: Like a microchip in case you get lost? A few of my friends in the joint have those.

Amelia: Don't be ridiculous, those are for dogs. I'm not sure what they are. I'm hoping they are really tiny IPods.

Sophie: Did it hurt?

Amelia: It probably would have hurt you because you are pretty soft. But, I took it like a big girl. They put me to sleep, so I didn't feel anything during it. Afterwards was a little painful. I'd say it hurt more than when I got my belly button pierced and less than when I got my tattoo.

Sophie: I clearly see the term "put me to sleep" means something different to babies than it does dogs. Where I come from, let's just say they "forget" to wake you up again.

Amelia: Whoa. I'm glad I didn't go to your pediachristian or however you say it.

Sophie: Lol. you don't even know how to say it...it's pediastriction.

Amelia: That doesn't sound right either. Whatever, either way I'm glad my doctor didn't leave me asleep.

Sophie: Baby, you'll probably make me regret saying this, but, I'm also glad they didn't leave you sleeping. I would have missed you.

Amelia: Thanks, Soph. I would have missed you too. On an unrelated note, please stop yelling so loudly, these new IPods are making everything so loud