Amelia: Doggie, what is a thong?

Sophie: Uhhh, Baby, why would you ask me that?

Amelia: Well, I heard Dad singing a song about them the other day so they must be cool.

Sophie: Dear Lord, don't ever mention 'dad' and 'thong' in the same sentence again. My soul is now forever scarred with that image.

Amelia: They are that bad?

Sophie: Not by themselves, just combined. Basically, they are freakishly uncomfortable looking pieces of underwear girls wear.

Amelia: If they are so uncomfortable why do girls wear them?

Sophie: Not sure. Probably because they think boys like them.

Amelia: Do boys like them?

Sophie: Boys are very, very simple creatures. They like any and all underwear.

Amelia: Particularly those damn snazzy Huggies Jeans

Sophie: Uhhh, yeah...something like that.

Amelia: Do you ever wear thongs?

Sophie: Baby, when you look this good, you don't need to resort to gimmicks. You just rock your red collar and the boys come barkin'.

Amelia: Should I?

Sophie: I'm contractually obligated by threat of starvation to answer any question you ask regarding boys and what you should or should not do with the following line - Boys are bad. They have cooties and smell like burnt hair. You should do all you can to avoid association with them until after you graduate medical school...at a minimum.

Amelia: Hmmm, either way, I should probably wait until I'm potty trained.

Sophie: Please do.