Free advice is worth what you pay for it...

People ask me all the time how to maintain a happy marriage. Of course, by "all the time", I mean "nobody has ever, ever asked". That said, it is something I've been thinking about recently. First of all, before anyone thinks anything, I have not been thinking about it in any relation to my marriage. Meggan is as much my best friend today as she ever was and her presence remains the bright spot of my day. I began thinking of it because I decided to surprise Meggan by hand delivering flowers to her office and along the way I heard people ask me "what did you do?" and upon delivering them, she was asked "what did you do?". So, on my drive back to work I was thinking of how funny it was that something as simple as flower delivery requires a justification. What did I do? Nothing. I was in the area and I thought it would brighten her day. What did she do? Nothing. I'd brighten her day everyday if I knew how - no reason needed. It made me think about the glaring difference between dating and marriage. Nobody would have asked if we had just started dating. They would have assumed I was doing the obvious...trying to win her affection. But, I ask, why is it expected that we fight to win someone's affection yet we do essentially nothing to keep it? Contrary to popular misconception, just because someone loves you, does not mean they will always think the sun rises and sets with you. Getting married doesn't mean you get to stop trying. Saying "I do" isn't a free pass to say "I'm done". Thus, I arrive at what I feel is the most simple way to maintain a great marriage - don't forget what got you to this point. You have somehow convinced another human to vow to spend the rest of their lives with you. Clearly, they found you attractive, funny, charming, sweet, and a host of other embarrassingly flattering words. It is now up to you to do the best you can to keep them reminded of why they fell in love with you in the first place. Over time we all go through periods of growth and change. This is a great thing. You can't stay 22 forever and I promise your spouse wouldn't want you to. Naturally, these changes can make it very difficult to reconcile the old and new versions of yourself. So, what is the easiest way to know if you are on the right track? Ask yourself if you could currently pick up/woo your spouse if you were to just meet them for the first time today. If the answer is no, you probably have some work to do.