Please pass the ham

Well, tonight was quite an experience for me. This was the first time I have ever been in charge of pulling the "stuff" out of the turkey. Let's just say, without running you through my inner monologue, it was not a shining moment for me. First of all, I was completely ill prepared for this endeavor. I had never really seen it done before and I had no idea what I was looking for. Thus, leaving me with one very undesirable option - sticking my arm in there and digging for gold. So, there I was, somewhere between doing my best Grey's Anatomy surgeon impersonation and trying not to lose my watch inside a turkey when I came across my target - a frozen lump of disgust. So, I pulled this mess from the turkey and began to beam in triumph. At that point, Meggan decided to crush my dreams and tell me I had to pull an additional item out of the neck. Seriously, out of the neck?!? So, pulling something from the ass of the turkey is just not enough? I have to go down the hole formerly know as neck. Sweet. Needless to say, I did not enjoy any part of that action either. However, I did get the job done eventually with a final tally of: 2 lumps of pure nasty removed, 0 watches lost, 3 near barfing incidents, and 1 perfectly primed turkey. All in all, not a bad deal. Of course, there is no way in hell that I am going to eat that thing tomorrow.