Precious little time

Tonight was seemingly my millionth daddy and Mia night while Meggan worked. I'm pretty sure she works more nights than most bartenders. It was a fairly normal night. Amelia was incredibly excited to see me at daycare and equally incredibly unhappy about the menu for dinner. There was an incident tonight, though, that brought an important mindset to light for me. Amelia was in one of her moods where she just really couldn't stop being fussy. I had tried everything I could to entertain her and turn things around. None of the usual tactics were working - her new musical table was boring to her, she had no interest in Dora/wonder pets/anything on TV, and even Sophie's continual peskiness did not do the trick. After multiple outbursts of crying and my escalating frustration, a stark realization occurred...I only get about 3 waking hours per day with Amelia during the week. One of those hours is spent getting ready for work. Another is spent eating dinner, getting a bath, and getting ready for bed. Roughly 20 minutes of the remaining hour is spent on the ride home from daycare. That leaves approximately 40 unencumbered minutes per day. I have 40 minutes. That's less than one episode of a television drama. Why the hell am I getting flustered during the precious little time I get to hold my baby girl?!? The moments where my daughter reaches out to me to be held are fleeting. With that in mind, I scooped her up tightly in my arms and for the next half hour got every bit of baby sugar I could. I've never been shy about telling everyone how much I love Amelia. It's been glaringly evident to anyone who sees us together. However, for me, sometimes it does take moments like tonight to remind me to actually stop what I am doing and actively love her with all my heart; to place a premium on every second I get to spend with her. As tomorrow comes and the hassles of work and the pace of life begin to pick up again, I hope I am able to reflect back on tonight to remind me that a fussy baby, a crying baby, even a screaming baby is still by far the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I am so lucky to have these times with her.