An actual baby

Today, for the first time in my life, I held an actual baby. In case any of you are wondering how we had the audacity to have Amelia without telling you... calm down. This was not our baby. It was one we stole from the nursery. Just kidding, my boss had a daughter on Wednesday and invited us over to see her today. Honestly, I knew babies were small. But, I had never really seen one up close to know they were pocket size. She was markedly smaller than a freshly shorn Miss Kitty, who is all of 6 lbs. I'm not sure she was much bigger than Mr. Hippopotamus - Sophie's stuffed toy that has thus far served as Amelia's proxy when practicing swaddling, diaper changing, and testing out the car seat. Of course, the doctors have informed us that Mia will be roughly the size of a toddler and already shaving her legs by the time she's born. So, we may be in awe of her size in a different way.

So, how did I do for my first time holding a baby? Let's just say I moved with the fluidity and grace of a 13 year old boy at his first middle school dance. I wasn't quite sure how to hold my arms, where to hold her, or what to do to erase the look of horror and tears on her face - come to think of it, it was more like my middle school dances than I originally thought! After holding her for what felt like an hour, but in real people time was probably 5 minutes, I felt my arm begin to cramp. Apparently, you aren't supposed to hold your arms up and out like you are halfway through your Swan Lake pirouette solo. She and I both began to relax a bit and it became a truly great experience. She looked up at me as if to say "I promise I won't cry and make you look like a bad father-to-be" and I looked at her thinking "Who cares if you cry? Just please don't barf or poo on me". It was really a special time we shared - we had a moment.

At the end of the day, I think I accomplished my mission. I wanted to see what it felt like to hold a baby. I wanted to hold said baby without dropping her. I wanted to know if it would make me want Amelia to get here even faster. It felt surprisingly cozy holding a baby. She was soft, warm, and even though she wasn't mine, it gave me an overwhelming calmness to see that she felt safe and secure in my arms. The feeling I left with was one of intense anticipation for my own daughter's arrival. Before today, I wasn't sure how I'd ever be able to hold a fragile, little baby. After today, I'm not sure I'll ever want to put her down.