I Promise

As the big day nears, I think it is only natural to wonder what type of father I will be. This being my first foray into fatherhood, I can't say I know for certain how I will be in all situations. However, I have compiled a list of promises that I think all fathers should try to stick to throughout the years.

1. I promise to mute my fears and natural gag reflexes at 2 a.m. when you decide to defy all laws of biology and fill your diaper with 3 times more substance than you have ever ingested.

2. I promise to exhibit the patience of Job when your inquisitive little mind tests your hypothesis that my Blackberry not only can and should be flushed down the toilet, but that watching it swirl will be a hilarious feat indeed.

3. I promise to be a brave warrior when you hear monsters under your bed or in your closet even though I'm far closer to the indian in the Village People than any in The Last of the Mohicans.

4. I promise to proudly display your artwork at my office - completely disregarding the fact that I have no idea what you drew or why it looks like you potentially were holding the crayon with your feet instead of your hands while coloring.

5. I promise to take you for ice cream after we have a hard day putting in time at the Build-A-Bear workshop. This double scoop and a new teddy will make your Saturday .... simply hanging with you will make mine.

6. I promise to confidently answer questions like "why aren't there 'B' batteries" and "do people yawn in their sleep" because even though I have no idea the actual answers, all little girls deserve the luxury of thinking their dad's know everything.

7. I promise to dance with you when your school or girl scout troop hosts a Father - Daughter dance. This way, no matter what stage of bodily awkwardness you are going through, you will certainly not be the worst dancer there.

8a. I promise to be a shoulder to cry on when your heart gets broken by the 15 year old you just knew you were going to marry.

8b. I will secretly hide my joy over this recent relationship development as even though I am 15 years from meeting said boy, I already don't like him.

9. I promise to do my best to hold it together as I give away the most beautiful girl in the world on your wedding day... AFTER college...to a DOCTOR. (Disclaimer: "hold it together" in no way means I won't cry. After all, I'm a father, not a robot)

10. I promise to be the kind of grandpa that spoils your children so badly that they literally cry the whole ride back home and can't get to sleep until midnight because they are hopped up on the candy I stashed in their suitcases.

As time passes and life gets in the way, lists like this get harder and harder to stick by. So, perhaps I will do myself a favor and make a slightly shorter one - I promise to bring God into your life as I am so very thankful he has brought you into mine. I promise to love your mother in a way that sets the highest standard and example for all men who will come into your life. Lastly, and most importantly, Amelia, I promise to put you FIRST on all my lists.