She's Not Allergic to Crying

Amelia had to endure some allergy testing today. I can safely say she did not enjoy the process. There were many, many tears shed in that office. I'm not sure if she was just afraid or if it actually hurt in any way. I do know I felt terrible for her. It was one of those times as a parent where you wish you could take her place.  Unfortunately, I could not...so, instead, I chose to take her chair....

999 More Than I Ever Expected

I just realized I have crossed over the 1000 post mark. I suppose if I were a "real" blogger, I'd have paid more attention to that and had some wonderfully crafted 1000th post or potentially even a countdown of some sort. The truth is I've never really thought about those type of aspects for this blog. As I've been told numerous times, it isn't that user friendly, it isn't organized well, and I need to do a better job with its aesthetic appeal. For me, this is much less about having a blog for the masses and much more about having a scrapbook of my children's lives.  I want Amelia to be able to look back to see the promises I made to her before she was born. I want Everett to be able to read all the thoughts that raced through my head as his due date was approaching. I want them to see Sophie was a blogger...and a criminal. I want to remember that Amelia was chubby . I want to relive their first encounter.  And maybe most importantly, I want them to see this entire crazy thing was built upon the intense love two people felt for each other and their desire to help it grow.  So, it might not be the best blog on the Internet, but as of today I have 1000+ memories to look back on and smile.

More Than One Way to get an IPhone

The picture you see before you was taken on Meggan's new IPhone. Why is this an important fact? Well, because as of yesterday afternoon, there were no plans for Meggan to have an IPhone. Somehow, while out to dinner last night, we lost her current phone (and I'm pretty sure someone found it because it was in a restaurant and was shut off long before the battery should have died...so, let's all take a second to hope they get an STD for not returning my incessant calls last night). The story from my head goes like this - I grabbed her phone out of the car and handed it to her when we were outside the restaurant. Her story goes like this - she left it in the car, has no idea why I grabbed it, and claims I never gave it to her. Clearly, only one of us can be correct and it is also just as clear that Amelia believes her mother. The entire ride home I had to endure this lecture from my 3 year-old in the back seat.....

"Daddy, we don't touch other people's phones"
"Daddy, the next time you take mommy's phone I am going to take your phone."
"Daddy, if you touch mommy's phone again, I am going to put you on the roof."
"Daddy, if you take people's things and you don't give them back you have to go to timeout."
"Daddy, why did you take mommy's phone and forget to give it to her?"
"Daddy, when mommy gets a new phone you don't touch one little piece of it."
"Daddy, putting our hands on other people's things is not nice. We don't do that."
"Daddy, if you get out of that seat, I'm going to spank your little booty."

The moral to this story? Well, there are two....First, I shouldn't take any more pictures with the IPhone until I learn how to rotate them properly. Lastly, if your wife keeps asking you for an IPhone, go ahead and buy her one before she takes her phone, throws it in the garbage at a restaurant, claims you never gave it to her, and turns your 3 year-old against you as some sort of alibi.

Zebras

If you didn't wake up this morning in silk, zebra print pajamas.... then you aren't as lucky or as sophisticated as Miss Amelia is...

Like I Was Saying

As I stated earlier....having Amelia "love" me so much is getting old...here we are at dinner last night. Meggan was able to catch her in action.

Let Me Tell You 'bout My Best Friend

I love Amelia to death. I really, really, really love her. Apparently, she really, really, really, really, really, really loves me too...and as much as I love her, it's too much.  This picture below is a small representation of what I go through on a daily basis. In it, you will see she has decided to pull her little table directly next to my dining room chair so she can eat next to me.  Keep in mind, she has her own spot at the big table - a spot in which she has been filmed for this blog numerous times. This is just a part of it. She tries to sit on my lap at restaurants. She pulls on my pants as we walk around a store. She only wants me to lay with her at night. She whines in the morning because I can't take her to school. The list goes on and on. Now, don't get me wrong. I know this isn't some sort of anecdotal evidence of how awesome I am. This is simply a reaction to the attention Everett gets from his mother. I also know these days will pass and I'll long for the times where she wanted to be around her dad...but, Lord, it would be nice to be able to watch a TV show without having 30lbs of sticky kid clinging from my neck.. 

Relaxation

This is what trying to take a nap with a 3 year-old in your house is like.....it is basically Amelia's opportunity to pull a "first one at the slumber party to fall asleep" prank on you and stick all her stickers to your forehead...

Impersonation

There is something so very funny and yet so very disturbing when you find your 3 year-old with her shirt pulled up, two breast pump cones held to her chest, making the "woooka woooka woooka" sound of the pump.

Rock and Roll

As of 10am this morning, Everett could not roll from his back to his front. On top of that, he had absolutely zero interest in attempting this feat. However, around 11am, while upset about being ignored, he rolled over in a fit of rage. Now, as of 9pm, Everett rolls around the floor as if he has wheels. There are two things that stand out about this to me - 1) it is amazing how adept kids are at doing something after they accomplish it one time. 2) I now have two somewhat mobile children. It is easy to see from his physicality that Everett will be crawling shortly and walking not long after.  In other words, we are now officially in trouble.

As Expected

...and as expected, the ride home featured crying, complaining, screaming, multiple potty breaks, a few diaper changes, two stops for Everett feedings, one stop to massage a knot out of Amelia's neck she got while sleeping, an extra 25% travel time, and several mentions of how badly Amelia wants her Grandma and Grandpa. At one point it got so out of control I could be seen driving down the street wearing a Burger King crown on my head while Meggan pretended to reenact the early scene in Crazy, Stupid Love where Steve Carell stoically jumps from the moving car amid the chaos...but, hey, at least the weather was nice.

Missing

In case you've noticed a lack of blog posts this weekend....I haven't gone missing. It is just that the hotel pool, beach, and tiki bar were far more accessible and appealing than my laptop was. Normal posting will resume tomorrow....and I have a feeling it will revolve around how completely miserable Amelia is because she had to go home.

Freedom

Meggan and I are heading to the beach tomorrow while the kids stay with their grandparents. It dawned on me this morning that barring anything that is escaping my memory, this will only be the second childless trip we have taken since this. Yes, that was our trip to New York in July of 2010. So, aside from one short stay at the beach in early 2011, it has been TWO years since we've gotten away. That is remarkable...remarkably sad that is.  I love my kids to death, but I hope our next real trip comes a lot sooner than July 2014.  There is nothing more rejuvenating for a marriage than getting to spend a little alone time away from home.... taking turns calling to check on the kids every 15 minutes.

Giddy Up

Amelia loves the way her brother looks in her "cowboy hat". I hate to tell her, she can say "BEEE HAWWW" (translation: yeehaw) and "Gaddy up!" all she wants, but it still isn't going to make this a rodeo ready look.

New Moves

Amelia showed off some new moves...some I liked more than others...to one of her favorite songs - "Pontoon" by Little Big Town

Quick Study

Apparently Everett has picked up his sister's love of the IPad...

... now if I can just teach him to write his own blog posts...

Hmmmmmm

How do you teach a baby to roll from his back to his stomach when he hates being on his belly?!? How do you teach a baby to sit up when he folds like a taco in order to munch on his toes every time he sees his feet?!? In most ways, Everett is far more physical than Amelia was as a baby....but, in some ways, he's just as stubborn as she is as a toddler.

Water Day

Even a 50lb backpack won't slow Amelia down when it comes to getting to school in time for water day...

...okay, so maybe it is just a towel and a change of clothes..but, it's still a big backpack for a little girl.

Tit for Tat

When you take a picture of your son in his shirt you put him in to brainwash him about which college play quarterback for...

your daughter gets jealous, jumps in his baby swing, and starts swinging as fast as she can....

I'll Take It

When Amelia leaned over to me while I was tucking her in and said "I love you so much in the world" I'll take it to mean she loves me more than anything in the world - a phrase I often say to her. And with that, I'll go to bed one very happy, appreciative father.

Well, Does She?

For some reason, Amelia is fascinated with pinatas. It is basically the only thing she ever says she wants to buy.  Tonight, we talked about it at the dinner table..

Me: Amelia, tell Mommy what we talked about putting your pinata.

Amelia: Candy!

Meggan: Ooooooh, what kind of candy?

Amelia: M&Ms!! and Lollipops!

Me: And what else?

Amelia: Ummm, Ring Pops and suckers.

Me: What about Reese's Pieces?

Amelia: and Reese's Pieces!!

Meggan: Woowwww, that sounds fun. What kind of pinata do you want?

Amelia: Umm, the one with stripes.

Meggan: Oh, that sounds pretty. The horse with the stripes?

Amelia: No, it's not a horse, it's a donkey! .....Do I have to teach you everything?!?

Amelia is a Stinker

Oh, it's great having a 3 year-old. While we were at the lake today, she decided to blurt out "What's that smell like? Daddy, that smells like your toot toots" at the exact moment this poor lady in the background of this picture walked by with her family. Now, before any of you accuse me of being a disgusting toot tooter, let me explain. I'm no more, or no less disgusting than any of you.  Amelia is currently fascinated by farting.  She finds it to be the funniest thing in the world. While the immature portion of me can't completely argue with her, the father in me tries to teach her otherwise. That said, she has started a funny little thing where she says basically everything smells like (insert person's name)'s toot toots.  As soon as she said "what's that smell like?", Meggan and I knew what was coming next. We just didn't know which one of us was going down.  I guess today happened to be the day she decided it was my turn to be thrown under the bus.  Tomorrow in a grocery store or at daycare will probably be Meggan's turn. So, there you have it.  Whether you are guilty or not, when a three year old says something to embarrass you, everyone will believe them. All you can do is laugh about it and go about your business. 

The Lake

After a few days in the house with two adults, two kids, and a dog, you eventually find your way outside regardless of who is coughing or how hot it is. We didn't stay out long, but we did get a nice break from the inside of our living room.


Who says you shouldn't teach your daughter how to skip rocks just because you have your son strapped to your chest? ....

Happy to be outside...

New Medicine

Well, Amelia was given a few different medications yesterday...and just in case they didn' t work, I went ahead and got myself some medication...

It wasn't a great night, but either her meds worked a little bit, or mine made me not care as much... I can't be sure.

Again

Soooo, Amelia is having another one of her coughing spells. It is bad enough that we had to cancel a play date today. It also is bad enough that she coughed consistently every 20-30 seconds ALL night last night. That part was a special treat for me since I slept in her bed to take care of her. There's nothing like having someone "snuggle on your pillow" only to cough in your mouth 6 or 7 times while you sleep. As usual, the doctor had no real answers today. So, if any of you know where we can get a lung transplant on the cheap, let me know. Otherwise, maybe you know of a Craigslist kid-swap we can get involved with. You know...just trying to be a good, proactive father here.

Alive and Well

An avid blog reader and lovely commenter asked if Sophie was still around. I guess that serves as a pretty good indication of Sophie's social standing in this house now that we have two kids...she now ranks just above me near the bottom of the totem pole. That said, as mentioned on here before (or at least in my head) Amelia still finds a way to make time for a slow dance or two with her...

Man to Man

Everett was able to get some sage advice from his great aunt and uncle when they stopped through town this weekend. It's nice to see that he doesn't look at every man with general disgust in his eyes.....only me. 

Happy Birthday, America

Chain Gang

In case you were wondering what a 3 year-old prison work camp would look like, it would be as pictured below. Of course, that assumes the camp dresses its prisoners in Tinkerbell tutus.  As seen here, Amelia is working off the crime of secretly squirting hand sanitizer on each and every step of our staircase.  Her defense - "I thought it was funny and you would laugh" was not strong enough to get her off with only probation.

   

Spensive

Do you know what the going rate for a puzzle is these days? According to Amelia, who was freaking out because Everett was about to eat her puzzle, they are "very spensive - forty four ten thousand dollars". So, if you don't have that kind of cash in your wallet, I suggest you use extreme care when using anything of Amelia's.

Shopping Buddies

Once you become a parent, shopping alone becomes similar to going to the movies, showering without interruption, or sleeping through the night - you know you used to do it, but you can't quite remember what it feels like.  

Here is a typical Saturday on the town for me...

If I wear a hat, Amelia wants to wear a hat....of mine

Carrying my main shopping buddy

Hanging out in the toy department