Dentist

I really hate the dentist. Hate. Hate. Hate. Today, I had my routine checkup. While I was sitting there with the dental hygienist elbow deep in my mouth, I realized that a "routine checkup" for me is really more like a routine game of "hoping the dentist doesn't find anything wrong so I can keep ignoring any problems I may have". I mean, if he doesn't find it, it doesn't exist, right? Surely I am not the only one who gives the absolute most vague answers when asked if something hurts. I may be saying "ehh, I can feel it, but I wouldn't say it's painful per se." But, what I really mean is "Holy hell, you are stabbing a metal stick into my gums, why don't you just yank out the tooth, inspect it, and put it back in, you sadistic freak". Speaking of sadistic, do they not realize my lips are indeed attached to my face? I get the concept of opening wide, but I'm not a flip top. Believe it or not, mouths are not made for two hands, a metal pick, a water sprayer, AND a suction tube. So, that wince you see. It's not from a cavity. It's because you violated a personal rule I have against leaving a place bloodier than I arrived. Somehow, in preparation for this visit, I already flossed 7 times and brushed my teeth an additional 6 times this morning and yet I felt no pain. So, why does my mouth now feel as if it just got beaten like it stole something? I appreciate all the dentist does, but is a little compassion against the rules?